Fat Asian Baby

Doggone it! I'm feeling rather peckish this morning, though I've only been awake for about thirty minutes now. Ambiguator is at class so I thought I'd creep into the kitchen and take a big bite out of the leftover half of his giant burrito from favorite Mexican eating establishment, Taqueria Y Fonda. I could neatly wrap it back up, replace it in the fridge, and nobody would ever be the wiser (well, perhaps the savage teeth marks would betray my guilt, but no matter). Unfortunately, my ingenious burrito-nabbing plans have been foiled since his burrito is securely wrapped in tin foil (which i knew) but also then encased in a brown paper bag that is literally locked (locked i tell you!) in a plastic shopping back with an uninviting looking knot to keep me out. Alas, the only way to access the precious burrito would be to tear open the bag, thus blowing my cover. Of course, given that this is a college dorm suite, and one inhabited by boys no less, the fridge contains nothing else that promises to be even remotely appetizing less a few six packs of the most excellent beverage, Natural Light. I regret to admit, however, that even the Fat Asian Baby is daunted at the prospect of Natty Light for breakfast. There was once a few days when i breakfasted on Coors Light, but I was younger then and in Hawaii on springbreak so that was a different situation entirely. And furthermore, I am not the better for it.