Fat Asian Baby

Quite frequently, the Fat Asian Baby finds herself leaning out the window smoking a cigarette (I am officially prohibited from smoking cigarettes in the apartment proper and probably should be going downstairs and outside to smoke because the owner recently put down new carpet, which, i might point out, is less carpet than it is an extended straw welcome mat that prevents walking around the apartment sans shoes unless you are the type to delight in unsolicited and not altogether pleasant foot exfoliating massages). At any rate, my window directly faces the many-windowed facade of the building across the street. During the many hours (cumulatively) that I have spent smoking, I have witnessed numerous vignettes from the lives of the people who live in the building across the street. Unfortuantely, I have been forced to suppress any Rear Window fantasies I might have as, I assure you all, their lives are disturbingly devoid of any sex (let alone kinky sex), murder, intrigue, or anything remotely more fascinating than plant watering and laundry drying. C'mon people, step it up. Don't you realize that I don't even have a television.
Feh.