Fat Asian Baby

The Fat Asian Baby should have known the trip was doomed when she first arrived in London and was forced out of the Underground several stops before her hotel due to security measures for the Formula One parade. Yes folks, an entire parade about, well, race car driving. Do not be fooled by the mullet, the Fat Asian Baby does not find the fact that cars go zoom exciting in the least and was dismayed to discover that she, with suitcase in tow, was trapped for several hours inside a ten block radius of parade route with what would seem to be the entire population of London. For the past four days, I have been in the company of a complete moron who can't spell (apparently, learning English not such a priority in England) and hadn't ever heard of Troy or Achilles before I so generously offered to see the Brad Pitt film because it's a stupid blockbuster movie and it's about war and stupid boys like war and blockbusters. The Fat Asian Baby never thought she'd complain about eating too much junk, but I haven't seen a whole vegetable since entering the fair island days ago, and, to add insult to injury, last night, some fool deep fried my veggie burger.