Fat Asian Baby

It's amazing how quickly the pace of pop culture moves. The Fat Asian Baby has been out of the country for a mere three months and is already hopelessly lost. Not only have I missed almost an entire season of Six Feet Under and The Simple Life, but major changes have been happening in the "real" world. For starters, apparently Britney Spears is now engaged to that loser backup dancer whatshisname? She wants to spend the rest of her life with this specimen of a man? Ok. I accept this. However, what is most baffling and impossible to understand is the rise to power of Ashlee Simpson. Last time I tuned into MTV, Ashlee Simpson was the neglected kid sister of supergenius Jessica who occasionally made it in front of the camera on Jessica's show. Apparently, in my absence, Ashlee has become a B-List celebrity herself by releasing an album and talking MTV into giving her her own show. Note to self: in under three months, you too can go from being known to and loved by only your parents and a select deluded few to loved by throngs and throngs of what would appear to be, and if Ashlee and MTV are to be believed, actual fans. Amazing. This bodes very well for my budding career as a backup bootie dancer on BET. All I have to do is get me down to Atlanta and all the chips will fall into place.