Fat Asian Baby

As many of you may have noticed, the Fat Asian Baby currently resides in the ardently Republican state of Georgia. However, from all appearances, Atlanta is actually a safe-haven for liberal New Yorkers who somehow wound up in the Deep South; it is an enclave of relatively liberal thought. My neighborhood, being near a major university, is particularly staunch in its support of John Kerry. Yet, every day on my drive to school through the sea of Kerry Edwards lawn signs, I see one lone disharmonious piece of shit of a lawn ornament: a Bush Cheney sign. And every day, it takes every ounce of self control in my body (wait, I have self control?) not to jam on the breaks, get out of my car, and speed away with the offending eyesore in my possession. While FAB has been known to reappropriate various other less offensive lawn ornaments such as pink flamingos and other plastic fauna without as much as a twinge of guilt, I cannot help but think that no matter how much pleasure it would bring me (and oh would it ever), to steal or otherwise vandalize that sorry old Bush Cheney lawn sign would somehow just be really Wrong. And man does it kill me to know what kinds of dirty dirty things I could do to that sign. But you just shouldn't mess with the democratic process.*

*anymore than it's already been messed with by certain unnamed "elected" officials in this country.