Saturday, September 04, 2004
Gaydar Crisis
The Fat Asian Baby desperately needs to reset the threshold parameters of her Gaydar. After years of living in New York City, my Gaydar was honed with particular accuracy to detect even the most minor details to help distinguish between a guy who simply may pay particular attention to his appearance and a guy who may pay particular attention to his appearance but also likes to do other guys. Please note, I am being careful to avoid using the dreaded M-word to describe the former. At any rate, I am quite accustomed to accepting that a guy may be well groomed but is still definitively playing for my team. Well, after some careful research, FAB is fairly convinced that the M-word type guys are few and far between in Atlanta, thereby upsetting all of my delicate calculations. While I'm busy trying to readjust the settings of my Gaydar to make it less sensitive, here's my new working paradigm:
If an Atlanta guy looks like he's wearing an expensive pair of jeans and maybe took more time styling his hair for the night than I, or perhaps using personal hygeine products in addition to shampoo, toothpaste, and cologne - off limits.
If he's wears flannel, drives a pickup, has long hair in a ponytail, or alternatively wears a baseball cap, or looks straight out of the frat, or is a little more sophisticated and consistently wears blue Brooks Brother's collared shirt - fair game.
If an Atlanta guy looks like he's wearing an expensive pair of jeans and maybe took more time styling his hair for the night than I, or perhaps using personal hygeine products in addition to shampoo, toothpaste, and cologne - off limits.
If he's wears flannel, drives a pickup, has long hair in a ponytail, or alternatively wears a baseball cap, or looks straight out of the frat, or is a little more sophisticated and consistently wears blue Brooks Brother's collared shirt - fair game.