Fat Asian Baby

According to Page Six, Seventeen Magazine editor, Atoosa Rubenstein is trying to break up the party. Ever the conscientious Barnard alumna, Atossa is very concerned about girls' self esteem and the damage of media gossip. Which girls, you ask? Why, teenage celebrities like Lindsay Lohan. Apparently we should all be more supportive of her brave decision to have breast implants because the gossip is affecting her in a negative way. While, I dare say that we, the producers and consumers of celebrity gossip, are hardly the source of "the problem," let me be the first to apologize to Lindsay for snickering at your ridiculous implant scars. I was wrong. You wear your silicone melons with pride, girl. Is that better, Atoosa?