Fat Asian Baby

Can somebody please buy me these? I don't think there is any product out there that more perfectly sums up what we're all about over here at FAB Central than the official Columbia University Slacker Pants*. I mean, really. It's almost as though the clever folks over at the Bookstore thought these up just for me. (I used to have a similar pair that were part of the infamous head-to-toe blue jump suit that stepped out to one of Columbia's classier watering holes and proceded to order an entire bottle of champagne. Yeah, turns out they had Champagne on the menu at AmCafe. And God knows, entire bottles of Champagne are best had when dressed up in a gigantic navy hoody, matching sweats, and sneakers).
*Actually, there is, but I already received my commemorative university shot glass and beer stein, thank you very much.