Fat Asian Baby

I apologize for abandoning you all today, but I was busy wandering aimlessly through the streets of Manhattan. I went into the city last night to meet up with old college mates for some hearty Korean BBQ in K-town. Somehow, as things always seem to unfold in the most unexpected ways, the evening ended with me standing outside of Marquee at 3am as Derek Jeter walked by presumably having just left the same club. His Jeterness was wearing a suit, looking, uh, very Derek Jetery, and then got into the black SUV I was standing next to and drove away into the early morning. I tried to think of something clever (preferably about his relationship with Mariah Carey or something) to say while he was standing outside the SUV for a few moments, but as we all well know, I am not very clever. And a Mets fan to boot. And he was accompanied by several other serious lookings guys in suits so I decided not to press my luck/embarrass myself further than I already had by virtue of my attire. By the way, if anybody was at Marquee last night* and was wondering who that asshole was who had the audacity to wear schlumpy jeans, a tshirt, sneakers and carry an inappropriately enormous tote bag filled with junk into the club where La Lohan hangs out and proceeded to burp kimchee on everyone, that was me. Sorry.
*And believe you me, there were tons of you. Don't you people have jobs???