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Friday, January 14, 2005

The latest burning question for E!Online's Answer B!tch:

Do celebrities have the same college application process as normal people? Did the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman and Kate Bosworth really get into their respective schools by merit or by their name?
Mira Shah, Edison, New Jersey


Well Mira, despite what the stupid Answer B!tch tells you, as one who has worked in a college admissions office and perused many an application, the Fat Asian Baby assures you that the answer is a resounding WHAT DO YOU THINK, SWEETHEART? And, uh, not to get bitchy about it, but the Answer B!tch herself reveals,
"As for Portman...She reportedly scored a 1320 on her PSATs and rewrote her Harvard application essay 20 times until she thought it reflected her brainpower.

The reported result: early admission into not only Harvard but Yale."
For anyone who has any familiarity with admissions statistics for either of these schools in the past decade or two, I think these scores* and her subsequent admission to both institutions speak for themselves.

*Unless of course, she scored remarkably better on the actual SAT and that 20th rewrite of her essay kicked some seriously pretentious ass. This is not to say that 1320 is not a respectable score, per se. But there's simply no way in hell you're walking into Harvard or Yale with that unless you've single handedly saved a small African nation from starvation or, say, made several major motion pictures of something like that.

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