Fat Asian Baby

1. Find new professional sports teams to pin all your life's hopes on, particularly ones with names consisting of more than four letters the last three of which are
E-T-S. Your baseball team will probably still suck next year, but isn't the nephew cute?
2. Since you're not planning on giving up the all-cheese all the time diet, perhaps this year would be a good time to start exercising.
3. Contrary to what others might suggest, those horrific dreams about all or some of your teeth falling out are not about subconscious reproductive anxieties, the inability to assert yourself, fear of change, or fear of castration . Maybe they are about a not so subconscious fear of your teeth, like, falling out or something. Make a fucking dentist appointment already.