Monday, March 28, 2005
Dear Johnny,
For months now, the Fat Asian Baby has ignored the fact that the pizza at Johnny's New York Style Pizza in actuality bears very little resemblance to the sort of pizza FAB used to eat while living the previous 23 years in New York - in other words, what we might properly consider "New York Style" pizza, if there was actually to be such a thing. I have overlooked this fact because, while your pizza fails to seem "New York" to me, it is nonetheless quite tasty. As is your meatball parmesan sub. The chicken parm could use some work. But I digress.
Sunday night found me quite hungry and hankering for an Easter dinner of sausage-y, tomato-ey, cheese-y, treif-y goodness that would be an Italian sausage pizza. So I decided to give you a call. But you did not answer. You did not even pick up the phone. After several failed attempts to reach you, I wondered if perhaps you had changed your number. A quick internet search for your web site reassured me that your number had not changed. So I tried again. And again. In vain.
Much, much, much later, it occurs to me that perhaps you, Johnny, have closed your New York Style Pizza shop for the night because IT IS EASTER. Today is the celebration of the resurrection or (ascendance?) of your lord Jesus Christ, amen, into Heaven or the sky or, well, I'm really not quite sure where. This is a very important day indeed. But Johnny, just because we rejoice in Christ, THIS DOES NOT ALSO MEAN THAT WE STOP EATING PIZZA. Please change the name of your franchise. On Christmas, New York's many fine Chinese restaurants continue to serve up shrimp lo mein to the hungry masses. And I assure you, Oh fine maker of pizza, that even on Easter, New York's pizza industry surely does not come to a screeching halt.
Respectfully yours,
Fat Asian Baby
P.S. Judging from the hour and a half I had to wait for Dominos to deliver, there is a market for Easter Pizza in Atlanta as well. So perhaps you should get busy.
P.P.S. If you were not closed for Easter, but, as I had first suspected, your phones were just broken, please disregard the entire preceding message except for the part about the chicken parm subs. They're kinda salty.
For months now, the Fat Asian Baby has ignored the fact that the pizza at Johnny's New York Style Pizza in actuality bears very little resemblance to the sort of pizza FAB used to eat while living the previous 23 years in New York - in other words, what we might properly consider "New York Style" pizza, if there was actually to be such a thing. I have overlooked this fact because, while your pizza fails to seem "New York" to me, it is nonetheless quite tasty. As is your meatball parmesan sub. The chicken parm could use some work. But I digress.
Sunday night found me quite hungry and hankering for an Easter dinner of sausage-y, tomato-ey, cheese-y, treif-y goodness that would be an Italian sausage pizza. So I decided to give you a call. But you did not answer. You did not even pick up the phone. After several failed attempts to reach you, I wondered if perhaps you had changed your number. A quick internet search for your web site reassured me that your number had not changed. So I tried again. And again. In vain.
Much, much, much later, it occurs to me that perhaps you, Johnny, have closed your New York Style Pizza shop for the night because IT IS EASTER. Today is the celebration of the resurrection or (ascendance?) of your lord Jesus Christ, amen, into Heaven or the sky or, well, I'm really not quite sure where. This is a very important day indeed. But Johnny, just because we rejoice in Christ, THIS DOES NOT ALSO MEAN THAT WE STOP EATING PIZZA. Please change the name of your franchise. On Christmas, New York's many fine Chinese restaurants continue to serve up shrimp lo mein to the hungry masses. And I assure you, Oh fine maker of pizza, that even on Easter, New York's pizza industry surely does not come to a screeching halt.
Respectfully yours,
Fat Asian Baby
P.S. Judging from the hour and a half I had to wait for Dominos to deliver, there is a market for Easter Pizza in Atlanta as well. So perhaps you should get busy.
P.P.S. If you were not closed for Easter, but, as I had first suspected, your phones were just broken, please disregard the entire preceding message except for the part about the chicken parm subs. They're kinda salty.
