Fat Asian Baby

The Baby Daddy of the Hollywood sex scandal gets a trial delay.

Inspired by Morgan Spurlock's award winning documentary, Whitest Kids bring you Supersize Me (with Whiskey). FAB wants a Jack and Coke. (via Best Week Ever)

We know this isn't exactly an academically rigorous source, but the National Enquirer is reporting that Demi Moore has miscarried in her fifth month of covert pregnancy.

At last, college students have hope for survival in space.

Graydon decides to put pink Barbie doll Paris Hilton on the cover of October's Vanity Fair while bumping Jennifer Aniston up to September. Insert your own joke about cultural relevance [here]. Yawn.

The Butterscotch Stallion Speaks Out: "I don't know if I'm shallow, but you want to make sure that you make the right choice because you know that it's forever and I didn't realise that I have such a strong scientific side that demands that I experiment with and compare women."

Scarlett Johansson Speaks Out: "It's very strange to see my cleavage the size of a brontosaurus. My breasts were huge. I had long hair and my goodness, I couldn't get past the cleavage." Neither could we, dear, neither could we.

Orlando Bloom's Sister Speaks Out: "Of course Sienna and Orlando kissed - they are friends, and he always kisses his friends." Umm, can we be friends, Orlando? Please?
Though according to the kids down under, Kate's back with some Australian model exbf type named Lundi. Lundi? Really?

Jackass Speaks Out: "It's an unfortunate thing because I have a wife and a nine-year-old and that stuff is hard on the family. Luckily, my wife and I have a dialogue and I said, 'Look, people are making these stories up and putting them in the papers.'" I, uh, yeah.

Melanie Griffith still an irrelevent, overstretched, bitchy diva on wheels.

The guy responsible for Christina Aguilera's fashion sense has designed his very own nightclub. Now this should be fun.

Georgia tax holiday starts today. FAB wants a new back-to-school wardrobe and a Trapper Keeper.

Hey former roommate D., shove this up your ass. We told you those stupid horse pills were worthless.

You sure are a perceptive one, Ruth. Looks like cowboy boots are "in" this season, whatever that means.

Famed children's book author and style icon, Madonna, to try her hand at singing.

FAB thinks Tourette's Camp is a pretty sweet reality tv concept.