For the sin I have committed by not just eating but actively coveting bacon and BBQ pulled pork.
For sitting idly by as I witness oppression and extreme poverty throughout the world.
For driving home when I probably shouldn't just because I'm afraid or too lazy to leave my car parked at the bar overnight.
For hurting people by speaking without thinking.
For pretending I didn't know the dishwasher needed to be emptied and waiting for someone else to do it.
For going home with that guy not because I liked him but because I hoped if I did he would finally stop calling me.
For making fun of Tara Reid, Spederline, Renee Zellweger, Ben Affleck, Michelle Williams, and Paris Hilton just because it amuses me.
For screening my parents' calls.
For thinking bad thoughts about the President even though I know it's not his fault that he's a fucking moron who doesn't know any better.
For failing to be there for my friends when they need me.
For saying I'm sorry about talking shit about Tara Reid, Spederline, Renee Zellweger, Ben Affleck, Michelle Williams, and Paris Hilton even though I am sorta sorry but have no real intention of stopping anytime soon.
For failing to take action while the American and Israeli governments commit acts I find embarrassing or even horrifying.
For going to synagogue less this year than I ever have in my entire life.
For not having the maturity to be patient with my mother even though I know that all she really wants is for us to be friends.
For avoiding eye contact with people I think are going to ask me for money.
For not respecting my body.
For spending a lot of time talking about midgets.
For spending a lot of time talking about midget porn.
For getting cable even though the last thing I need is further incentive to be even more of a lazy sack of shit that I already am.
For talking smack about people even though I care about them.
For humoring my mother only when I think I'm going to get something out of it.
For smoking and having to lie about it.
For considering Page Six a reliable source of information and spreading unsubstatiated rumors simply because they're pretty funny.
For being dismissive of people I think are retarded and for not purging "retarded" from my daily vocabulary.
For doing the bare minimum amount of work to get by in school.
For eating myself silly and then hating my body.
For excessive schadenfreude.
For thinking I'm pretty much always right.
For looking at the opposite gender in an inappropriate and disrespectful way.
For racing to finish the Amidah during the two times I actually do go to synagogue each year just so I can check out the other people there. For making little effort to get to know people unless they try to get to know me first.
For reembracing tequila shots even though everybody knows that tequila shots only lead to very bad things.
For failing to be an advocate for positive social change within my own community.
For judging people by their taste in music, art, clothes, and food.
For asking family and friends to do things for me that I wouldn't really want to do for them.
For being a jealous bitch.
For spending inordinant amounts of time thinking, talking, reading, and writing about really frivolous stuff.
For thinking about what I'm going to say next rather than really hearing what somebody is saying to me.
For leaving class early because I'm bored.
For being unable to always protect people's confidences.
For swearing like a sailor.
For hating 98% of all the other drivers on the road.
For being unable to tell the people that I care about the most how much I love them.
For not making enough of an effort to change the things about myself that I know need changing.