Fat Asian Baby

It seems to me that among those of us fortunate to live in the industrialized world and have occasion to overeat from time to time, there are two kinds of people: those who prefer to address the situation by taking a brisk and lengthy walk and those who prefer to unbutton their pants and lie prone or semi-prone on any flat yet soft surface. Oftentimes those in the former group are further afflicted by the belief that everyone will benefit from a arduously brisk and lengthy walk directly after chow time. Given this state of affairs, it is no small wonder why our merciful God who art just, blessed be thy name, would see fit to bestow upon my mother, an ardent adherant of the former world view, a child who wants nothing more than to stuff herself silly and then put on some sweats and lay on the couch in peace.