Fat Asian Baby

Heaven help us. It's only a matter of time before Touched By Ink-Stained Hands, the racy roman a clef exposing former NYTimes executive editor Howell Raines as the sex ravaged Bedroom Beast/Editor Extraordinaire that he is, reaches the shelves of Barnes and Nobles. FAB better start poking her eyes out now.

Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders arrested for having sex in a bar bathroom. FAB's pretty sure the bar patrons were just testy because they weren't allowed to watch.

FAB can't wait to get her sticky little paws on Bar Mitzvah Disco to relive all those awkward moments slow dancing to Bryan Adams' Everything I Do (I Do It For You). Or was it sitting in the corner waiting for someone to ask me to dance to Bryan Adams' Everything I Do (I Do It For You). Funny how I can't seem to remember anymore.

New research shows that beer helps fight cancer. Perhaps FAB should reconsider her thesis research ideas.

The old Joaquin Phoenix brain eating frog acid trip during interview story finally makes it to Page Six.

Wacko recording new tracks with the only children in the world he's not yet legally barred from seeing.

NYTimes Style gurus point out several levels of obvious about America's Next Top Model.

Introducing Miss Georgia USA 2006.


DMBQ's van rolls over on I-95 on the way from Baltimore to Brooklyn, killing drummer China Nishiura and seriously injuring other band members. Donations to help cover the band's medical and travel expenses can be made via Paypal to dmbqpanache@lovepumpunited.com.

And the horses are off.

Former Emory med student pleads guilty to reckless conduct for having unprotected sex without disclosing his HIV positive status.

GBV's stock goes up. Party like it's 1992.

Madonna leaks.

Binge eating: trifecta of stress, deprivation, and fatty salty snacks. FAB wouldn't know anything about it. (via boing boing)

Apparently Kimberly Stewart and Joe Francis have no more use for each other.

50 Cent reinvents his originary story in his movie "Get Rich or Die Tryin."