Fat Asian Baby

Can we all please take a moment to consider the state of denim in this country? Being of Asian extraction, I'm fairly confident that the depth and height of my ass is average at best, if not on the diminutive side. This belief about my relative position in the pantheon of ass-size was confirmed by a kind man who told me to get my "flat ass off the bar" one fine evening many years ago while I may or may not have been shaking it atop the bar at SoHA. The year is no longer 1999. And as such, there is no reason that jeans not otherwise designated as "low-rise" or "hoochie mama" should cause a nice Asian girl to impersonate Super Mario and his funny little brother every time she bends down to pick something up off the floor. And surely society at large does not need to be regularly exposed to this manner of atrocity. Nor should one under the age of 45 and residing in a bustling metropolis be forced to sport full-rise Wranglers or anything otherwise pleated. Let us all urge the denim industry to go back to the drawing board and report to the front office with something better.