Fat Asian Baby

Dear Internet,

Sometime early last week I asked "Kevin Federline" to be my friend on MySpace. While I understand that Kevin Federline on MySpace is most likely not the same Kevin Federline who has gifted the world with PopoZao. But it is perhaps this discrepancy that makes the rejection even colder: someone with enough time and wherewithall on their hands to impersonate the body and soul of Kevin Federline, he who married Britney and let her go all Cheetoh Dust TubbyBritney on us, doesn't see fit to be my fake internet friend.

I think I'll go cut myself for a while so I can see, feel, and be the tangible incarnation of my inner psychic pain.

Laters,

FAB