Thursday, March 29, 2007

An Open Letter to G-d 

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Dear G-d who art in heaven, or wherever,

Please please please send me one of these teeny tiny horses for my birthday (April 27, in case you forgot). I was trying to arrange a group field trip to Talladega Superspeedway because the idea of tailgating at 8 in the morning out the hatchback of my Toyota Prius is all kinds of awesome, but I would honestly consider sacrificing the holy awesomeness of this trip if you could deliver unto me one of these. Just imagine how cool I'd be tooling around lower Manhattan with one of these furry little guys. Way cooler than all those titwads with their toy whatevers in their Herve Chapelier bags I tell you.

Please please please please please.

Many thanks.
Your humble servant,

Fat Asian Baby

P.S. What's the deal with the size of Devorah's head? Judging from her given name, she is one of your chosen people, but looking at her oversized gourd one would think she had displeased you in some way.

P.P.S. While my desire for a guide horse is totally in earnest, please do not interpret this to mean that I also desire to become visually impaired. Just thought I should be clear about that. Kthxby.

P.P.P.S. Oh. Also G-d, considering that most people who are in the market for a guide horse are, in fact, visually impaired, don't you think it's kinda mean that the font on the website's links are so v. v. tiny. I mean, even I had trouble reading most of it.

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