Fat Asian Baby

As you may realize by now, the Fat Asian Baby is, well, asian. And FAB does not yet have the benefit of any eye-popping interventions like eyelid surgery or eye glue. This means that on many occasions (ie. when laughing uncontrollably or really, really stoned or some combination of the two), certain asshole friends have inquired as to whether our small asian eyes are actually open or if they're closed. Today we have ascertained beyond a shadow of a doubt that if we sit in the rear of the classroom and maintain an attentive posture throughout the class, the professor will not notice if we rest our eyelids for a minute or thirty. Rather, she will simply conclude that we have v. v. small eyes indeed.