Friday, December 30, 2005

Holiday Train Show 

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us A train passes a model of the Enid A. Haupt Conservatory, the building that houses the actual trainshow.

Yesterday, FAB went with the FABParents to see the Holiday Train Show at the New York Botanical Garden. The Train Show is pretty neat, not because FAB is particularly partial to model trains (though some are pretty cool) nor because these particular model trains were especially impressive, but because the trains are routed through an indoor mini landscape of exotic plants and replicas of New York landmarks, historic homes, and other famous New York City structures. What's more, all of the miniatures were painstakingly handcrafted by some guy from Kentucky using only botanical and natural materials like leaves, twigs, bark, berries, pine cones, and cinnamon sticks. The Holiday Train Show runs through January 8th.

Below are some pictures of the first few buildings we saw. There were quite a few problems taking pictures without unnecessarily capturing other people's snot-nosed kids in the frame. And let's be honest, who really wants to see pictures of someone else's little angels standing in front of little trains? Also, FAB naturally possesses superior reasoning skills and decided it was ok not to charge the battery even though it hadn't been charged since Atlanta. Needless to say, the camera kicked the bucket before we made it to the part of the exhibit featuring the Apollo Theatre, Belvedere Castle, the New York Public Library, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the Jewish Museum (which curiously and conspicuously dwarfed the Met which was situated right next door. FABDaddy suggested that maybe the artist was Jewish) among many others.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Grand Central Station
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Oooh! B&W
Image Hosted by ImageShack.usThe Brooklyn Bridge
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ear Notes: New Year's Weekend Edition 

Yay! We're back! It's not that I really went anywhere, it's just that there was no worthwhile music in or around Atlanta to report for ages and ages and ages. I guess everybody was saving up all the party for New Year's Weekend.

Friday night, FAB recommends checking out Sound Tribe Sector 9, RJD2, and Sub-ID at the Tabernacle.

And on New Year's Eve itself, Sound Tribe Sector 9 will be doing it again at the Tabernacle with Prefuse 73 and Eliot Lipp.

For the best of both worlds, FAB recommends heading over to MJQ/the Drunken Unicorn for their New Years Eve Bash with Snowden, the Gates of Berlin, and Rizzudo with special DJ sets by Prefuse 73, LebLaze, DJ Reminder (The Roots), Brian Parris, and Jamal.

Dropsonic and A Fir-Ju Well will be at the Earl with Anna Kramer.

Vinyl will be having their annual Heathen Chemistry dance party presented by Sorted Entertainment and Vintage Volume. Tickets are all inclusive. Drinks, indie rock and roll, and a late night breakfast. DJs will be spinning Doves, Hot Hot Heat, Duran Duran, Oasis, Blur, BRMC, Charlatans, Redwalls, Arctic Monkeys, The Cure, Beastie Boys, Aqualung, The Music, The Bravery, Coldplay, Chemical Brothers, David Bowie, Deerhunter, Dirty Vegas, Elvis Presley and more.

Also, word on the street is that the kids of Powell Street will be throwing a New Years Eve late night extravaganza.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Good Morning From the Bureau Of: 

It's rather difficult to maintain a blog that you'd rather your parents didn't know about when you're staying in your parents' house and the only internet connection is in your father's office.

Real blog post may follow later today.

Or maybe not.

People are watching.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


MisShapes gets the boot from Happy Valley. In other news, um, indie band?

Booze bad for bones
. Boo.

The New York Times looks at the internet's impact on indie labels.

Prefuse 73 to work on Security.

Top 10 Style Mistakes of 2005 brought to you by The Sun.

Franz Ferdinand celebrated last album release with "a half-naked girl on a bronco and a girl eating fire."

Former MLB pitcher robs jewelry store at gunpoint.

Eva Longoria mouths off to Mexican bike cop.

All good things must come to an end.

The top 10 turkeys of 2005

Female First makes a foray into the Best Music department.

Gun play at N. Georgia Wal-Mart

Mom fights downloading suit on her own.

You knew it had to happen eventually: someone stole the Mother Theresa cinnamon bun. Mmm...cinnamon bun.

What women really think about during sex.

ModPod #23 featuring Matt Pond PA, Olivia Tremor Control, Summer Hymns,Aspera Ad Astra, Yo La Tengo, Wilco, Sparklehorse, and My Bloody Valentine.

Charlotte Church yawns. Yawn.


New Libertines book to reveal the "inside story," as if we don't already know.

Would It Kill Them To At Least Get Cable? 

Next time FAB makes intimations about returning to the FABFamily Homestead for a duration exceeding 3 to 5 days, someone please intervene. I have the distinct impression of teetering on the edge of a steep precipice, with nothing to lose but a thin thread sanity and any sense of well-being I may have once possessed. Since the triumphant return, FAB has attended numerous gatherings of my parents' or grandparents' friends, who range in age from mid-50s to mid-90s, at which I was forced to engage in no fewer than 87 conversations on the subject of grad school (I will graduate when I finish my thesis/No this probably won't be in May/No I haven't yet started my thesis/Well actually I probably should have started it way back in September/Yes I know what the thesis topic will be/No I don't want to talk about it with you/In fact I don't really want to talk about it at all because that will force me to think about it and I'd rather eat this bagel instead/Oh so you're really interested in hearing about it? OK I'm going to be doing a meta-analysis on female genital cutting and obstetric complications would you care for another glass of eggnog?) and life after grad school (No I don't know what I want to do/No I haven't started looking for a job/No I don't know if I will stay in Georgia/Why yes I do really live in Georgia/I like it just fine thank you/No I'm not even sure if I really want to go into the field for which I am about to finish graduate school and actually I don't even really want to go back to graduate school to finish the last semester, and while we're on the topic, I'm not even that gung-ho about getting a job anyway, lately I've been trying to win the lottery, but no luck so far/Actually I secretly fantasize about running away and starting a new life somewhere where nobody knows me).

In addition, I have been admonished for partaking in ANOTHER roast beef sandwich; cut off after a fourth glass of wine; harrassed with the evil South Beach Diet book; forced to submit to embarrassing family holiday photos then reminded of my status as Family Fatty; been asked what "female circumcision" means by my cousin's 11 year old daughter; received an XL J. Crew argyle sweater, a "The Gates" wall calendar, a night shirt, and some toiletry items purchased at Whole Foods in yet another dismal year of family holiday gifts, and tried to help a woman on the computer for whom the desktop metaphor remains a complete mystery and has remained so for the past twenty years that she has guilted me into helping her on the computer because it's not her fault she still doesn't understand since she didn't grow up with computers even though it's quite clear if she still doesn't understand what icons, folders, documents, windows, toolbars, cursors and the like are about then maybe email isn't the most efficient means of communication for some of us, hmmm?

I'm secretly hoping that the FABParents drive me to some sort of dramatic meltdown that will prevent me from returning for what was supposed to be my final semester, but not before I have a chance to write to the classmate responsible for the Class Notes section of my alma mater's charming alumni quarterly Columbia College Today about my fantastic achievements:
Since graduating from the College, Fat Asian Baby '02, remains unwed and otherwise unengaged and is about to receive a master's degree in a topic she isn't particularly excited to pursue. She is presently unemployed, but FAB is pleased to share her exciting achievements outside of the academe: she has played a total 17,393 games of Free Cell with a summary win rate of 78% and reached the impressively high score of 87,000 on the online speed Mahjongg available for free from MySpace Games.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Miserable Cow 

Broke Courtney to sell her rights to Kurt.

Transit Union to take steps to bring back transportation.

All Things Considered make their selections for Best Music of 2005.

Indie Interviews does American Analog Set.

The Gastineau girls squish their boobies together. Does anybody know why they're famous?

LA Weekly's The Hipster’s musical year-end predictions and post-game analysis.

"New Jersey: We can always use another relative on the payroll," and "Come to New Jersey: It's not as bad as it smells" rejected as possible state slogans.

Radiohead speaks.

Douchebrity. (via decentcontent)

Elton and Madonna trade barbs.

The Sun interviews Johnny Rotten.

That little Zellweger/Chesney mistake never happened. Ok?

Xtina grows tired of being Xtina.

We Are Scientists preps Virgin debut.

Tranny nativity scene shocks Rome.

LAX (the club, not the airport) bans Paris.

Ryan Adams joins Shockwave lineup.

Lloyd Grove banishes Brad to Page Six.

Al in the Family gets scrapped.

FAB Bonus Track: Jose Gonzalez' Crosses


Dear God,

It's astounding how arriving at Grand Central Station at 6:15 in the evening on Day 2 of the MTA transit strike and trying to negotiate your way through the ornery huddled masses to get to a steaming pile of meat with your name on it 15 blocks away will bring out one's inner Jack from Lord of the Flies.

Tonight I almost crushed several small children and numerous angry commuters to death. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't even feel very badly about it. They were standing between me and K-Town, home of sizzling barbecued beef in a variety of shapes and sizes. And furthermore, it was quite cold outside.
I just thought you should hear it first from me.

Yours truly,


Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Hello. Today we are in New Jersey. Seriously.
Neeeeeew. Jeeeeersey.


Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Top of the Top 

ScarJo and Joshiepoo get all domestic.

Pitchfork Top 50. Hello Sufjan.

Stylus Top 50.

Kylie already planning to head back to the studio.

Art-o-mat in Atlanta.


Franz Ferdinand have 14 new songs at the ready.


The Varsity sucks
. Amen.

New Order does Joy Division again

Moby channels Lance Bass.

Gorilla vs. Bear's Favorite Live Shows of 2005

Evolution survives in PA.

Top 5 Celeb Babes of 2005. Mimi? Really?

Simpson handlers to blow out Nick's candles to make Jessica's burn brighter.

Cigarettes out. Pharmies in.

German Pop Idol fave will use winnings to finally get that sex change op she's so been wanting.

Jamie Foxx's major label debut drops into stores today.

SJP shocks the world with the obvious.

The Britster sues Us Weekly over sex tape allegations.

Baby snow leopards step out.

But We Haven't Yet Tried Poutine 

FABMommy just came into the room to announce for the fourth time in the last three hours that she is going on a diet tomorrow because she feels disgusting. Only this time, she followed her unnecessary proclamation by asking (for the fifth time this week, mind you) whether or not FAB had a bathing suit and then casually mentioned that the South Beach Diet book was downstairs on the counter and maybe I'd like to take a look at it, hmmm? And wouldn't it be great if we went on the diet together? Last time FABMommy lost seven whole pounds in one week and all it involves is cutting out starches and sugars (which presumably excludes 99% of FAB's present nutritional intake consisting of beer and bagels). I said ok maybe I'd think about it hoping that FABMommy would go away and let me continue playing computer mahjongg in peace, but life should not be so kind. FABMommy then continued that sometimes we feel better about ourselves and everything in life is easier if we diet with a partner, which is incidentally very similar to the speech she gave before conning FAB into Weight Watchers about 15 lbs ago.
FAB continues to reach levels of fat nastiness and general out of shapeness that I'd never before thought possible, but quite frankly, I'd been waiting patiently for the miracle pill that will melt off those pesky pounds with my morning McGriddle™. Since this pill isn't immediately forthcoming, I suppose I will lay in bed tonight and make myself feel appropriately crappy about my body so that tomorrow I can join my mother in some weird post-feminist mother-daughter bonding ritual.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Blogmukkah Blogged 

Over the weekend, FAB had the pleasure of venturing back into her old haunts and attending Blogmukkah05 hosted by [decentcontent]. Despite our inherent awkwardness in social situations involving more than three people whom we've never met before and fewer than seven alcoholic beverages to our name, we met lots of lovely folks. To cap off our triumphant return to the area, we had a late night drunken run-in with Former Roommate D., looking like ever the inebriated terrorist, on the corner of Essex and Rivington and faithful friend Gina, true to form, ended up getting to know another party goer a little more intimately when we ran into him later on at Dark Room*.
Check out the Blogmukkah pictures. Mercifully we're not in any of them. That afternoon we'd been forced to submit to the annual torture of the family Holiday photo where we were once again reminded that we're the fattest member of the FAB family clan for the sixth year running.
Party recaps here.

*which incidentally has had the most unfortunate renovation, if you can call it that.

Won't Listen 

Pete Doherty arrested yet again. Yawn. Oh yeah and he should probably get tested.

Sadly, it looks like Orlando has decided to keep the beard.

Kiss Atlanta's DJ Preston Craig in the Washington Post.

Nick may dish to OK! FAB can't wait.

to Ryan Adam's new album.

Man who got anti-evolution stickers out of Cobb County textbooks takes aim at Jesus in government.

Skeletore thinks she looks pretty fine.

Hooray! We're winning the war!

Elton will wed at Windsor.

Bolivian President is a-ok with farming the marching powder.

Steve Buscemi to do Van Gogh.

FAB was too busy Friday shoving her piehole with smoked or cured fish to tell you about the Silver Jews' first tour kicking off March 10th at the 40 Watt in Athens and March 11th at the Earl.

You've got mail, and maybe gonorrhea.

Cassette Special at 3hive.

Internet good.

Michael Jackson shame spiral continues.

Internet bad.

Just because Jenny and Blake have each gone solo doesn't mean Rilo Kiley isn't a band anymore, ya know.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Royal Flush 

Ashley disses Karl.

Did someone say Jackson Family tv pilot?

KFed thinks he deserves $125 million in a divorce.

Gwen Stefani has one in production.

Quiznos is up for grabs. Mmm...toasty.

Arctic Monkeys reveal new tracklist.

A Happy Hipster Hanukkah.

Pitchfork reviews the Clientele's collection of tour goodies.

Slate Magazine's picks the best books of 2005.

New Superman Brandon Routh is all man. Hello Brandon.

Guide to Getting Around during the MTA strike.

Tom Cruise offers cooking oil for smoke inhalation. Firefighters not amused.

Are the Braves on the market?

Nicole Kidman engaged to cowboy?

Catfight breaks out between bands at catwalkers'holiday party.

The Privy Council is poised and ready to pee.

Laguna Beach residents not that happy about Laguna Beach.

Lance Armstrong to stand trial for defamation.

Ear Notes: ATL 

Tonight the Hiss, the Genders, and the Cogburns will be at the Earl.

Also, the Swear, Cracker Animals, the Unusual Suspects, and Baby Norman will be doing some sort of Billy Idol Tribute show at Vinyl.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

My Head Hurts 

Jen Carlson's exbf writes a song about MySpace called MySpace available on MySpace.

Indie Interviews does Rogue Wave

Matt Musick's 2005 Top 10 Albums and Top 10 Local Atlanta Acts on Kiss Atlanta. FAB wants Illinois.

FAB Faces Yet Another Moral Quandry 

Some of you may remember the Fat Asian Baby's last major ethical dilemma. Even though we never posted an update, we're confident most of you can safely surmise how that situation resolved itself. This week, our hero finds herself facing yet another ethical dilemma, only this time with potentially real consequences. FAB has been invited to what promises to be a fun Blogmukkah celebration to kick off the launch of [decentcontent]. While we have no overbearing reason to be particularly loyal to [decentcontent], its people seem like good people.

The reasons we've been dying to attend are that it will give us an opportunity to hang out (and by "hang out" we mean get exceedingly tanked") with dear buddy Gina before she heads back to the frigid steppes of Wisconsin for the Holidays, and we just like drinking with other people who are likewise so socially inept and at the same time so narcissistic and self absorved that they've turned to the internet for effective communication with themselves. Throw in some tequila shots and you have yourself a good time. Which is not even to mention that Former Roommate D's new roommate, an excellent chef we might add, is cooking up a latke extravaganza on Sunday morning. We think it goes without saying that FAB is staunchly pro-fried potatoes. We had it all planned out: blogger debauchery on Saturday night, crash with Former Roommate D., then stuff ourselves silly with latkes on Sunday before heading back to chezFABNY.

So what's the dilemma, you ask? Well, FAB was planning on driving from Atlanta to New York on Friday so as to arrive just in time for said Blogmukkah festivities. However, on Monday FAB received a message on her voicemail that Pa had passed away peacefully in his sleep. Yes Pa, FABMommy's father, the very man who assured FAB that it was indeed okay to cut off the icky rinds from her otherwise perfect creamy chunk of brie, thus changing my life forever. This means that I am back in my home planet of New York much earlier than expected and with still one more paper to write. This also means that I will be sitting shiva Friday, Saturday, and Sunday afternoons. So the question is this: we are willing to sacrifice the latke-fest, but can we attend Blogmukkah on Saturday night and still get home in time to sit shiva in an appropriately and respectfully un-hungover fashion?*

*Gina has suggested that we simply not drink very much and leave early, but I think we all know how ridiculously unplausible that is.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Hell Hath No Fury 

Paris attempts to mend rift with Anna Wintour Skeletore.

They have no idea just how nerdy we really are.

Newly leaked Elliott Smith demos at Kiss Atlanta.

Another baby in the house at Zoo Atlanta.

In related news, Gorilla vs. Bear gives us his top 33 songs of the year.

Sienna's dad makes vague threats at Jude.

The government's weed sucks.

Newsflash: Angie goes both ways. Who the fuck knew?

Atlanta goes all New Orleans for New Years.

Couple attacks flight crew, forces emergency landing, after being forcibly evicted from the mile high club.

Grazie Magazine votes Kate Moss the best dressed woman of 2005. Snort.

Lohan v. Lohan finally settled.

The Smiths to reunite for cancer benefit.

Colin Farrell checks into the fat farm rehab. In other news, Colin Farrell still gets laid.

The White Stripes' Tegan and Sara cover EP. Eh. Yawn.

Contrary to appearances, Bush claims he is "very aware of what's going on."

Britney's fans want to give Kevbo the boot.

Slideshow: 49 musicians who died before their time.

Newsflash: Moby doesn't like Eminem.

J. Lo lookin' rough.

Monday, December 12, 2005

And they're all, "Where'd that Fat Asian Bitch go? You'd think she'd at least have posted some shows by now."

And the Fat Asian Baby thought to herself, "You'd have thought she would have at least written one of these papers by now."

Friday, December 09, 2005

Off With Her Head 

"I need to be able to go to yoga and work out and just read scripts and go on auditions, because that's what makes me happy. You know? Like, papers don't really make me happy." From your lips, to God's ears, my friend.

Much like Marie Antoinette, Kirsten Dunst has endured intense pressure from a young age.

This year's hottest bands tell the Guardian who they think will be the hottest bands in 2006.

Music publishers crusade against online lyrics sites.

The Shins talk to NME.

The Mets find Franco

New day, new man for Hohan.

DJ AM used to be a fatty. FAB wants her stomach stapled.

Team Holmes/Cruise expecting a test tube boy.

The maple syrup smell is back.

Atheist finds God.

Let the countdown to the very public Foxy Brown meltdown begin now.

Motown singles: pretty damn good.

Bush handlers maintain Jenna has never been to the Lower East Side.

Gamers outsource early rounds.

Pilot union to strike against Delta.

BRMC announces 2006 tour dates, to hit the Roxy on Feb. 27th.

Dita Von Teese admits she likes a little bondage in the bedroom, earth is round.

Prince closes the deal.

Buy Brad Pitt's yearbook on Ebay. (via cityrag)

Advance Ear Notes 

Tickets go on sale today for:
  • Of Montreal at the Variety Playhouse, Saturday, February 11th

  • Kaki King at the Red Light Cafe, Friday, January 27th

  • Here's A Llama, There's a Llama 

    A few months back, Former Roommate D. had this ingenious t-shirt graphic design concept involving a llama and a question mark. It's the sort of humor that only the nerdiest of the Jews finds amusing. And if you didn't suffer through eons of Hebrew School, you won't ever get it. You won't get this either. But that's not because it's a dorky inside joke intended for Tribe Members only but because it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. And it's still funny.

    Weekend Ear Notes 

    Tonight FAB expects you all to be partying down at Lenny's for a dynamite show featuring the Modern Society, Kill Gordon (EP release), and Variac.

    FAB also recommends checking out the Futurists at Vinyl with Avenge Vegas and Forget Cassettes.

    will be having their CD release at the Drunken Unicorn with Creve Coeur and SPY.

    Saturday night Ray LaMontagne and Brandi Carlile will be at the Tabernacle.

    Heros Severum will be at the Drunken Unicorn with Parade and Luigi.

    Thursday, December 08, 2005


    Image Hosted by ImageShack.usNo boobs for Mischa Barton. She likes being understatedly sexy.

    Sarah Silverman's Give The Jew Girl Toys. (via Stereogum)

    PodDater. Yeah, you heard me: PodDater.

    Big brains = small balls

    Woman mistakes queso fresco for coke.

    Not to be confused with Coke's new slogan and disgusting coffee drink.

    Kelly Osbourne dumped once again.

    CBGB's to take final bow next Halloween.

    Kansas ranks last in school science standards. Oh how his noodley appendage is long.

    Jay Z and Beyonce to tie the knot next summer.

    Apparently that ring Barbara Bush was sporting on her left ring finger is not an engagement ring. It's just a left ring finger ring.

    Filmmakers cut Christopher Robin from the Pooh movie. What gives?

    Oooh Oooh Oooh! Arctic Monkeys album details! (Was that hip enough?)

    Pitchfork's panel nominates pretty much everyone whose anyone for the New Pantheon Awards.

    Grammy nominators all atwitter over Mariah, Kanye, John Legend.

    Apparently there are more Chinese restuarants in the US than McD's, BKs, and Wendy's combined.

    The Donald dishes the disses.

    Croatian General Ante Gotovina captured in the Canarie Islands.

    The Mallomars are back!

    New Buffalo.

    Tunnel diggers hit a wall.

    New Order. Singles. Pretty Good.

    Jacko shame spiral continues.

    Ear Notes: ATL and NYC 

    Tonight FAB recommends heading on down to the Drunken Unicorn to check out Xiu Xiu, the Dead Science, and the Blue Hour.

    And for those fine friends in New York, you must hear Snowden doing their thing at the Mercury Lounge. They're opening up the evening so get there at 8pm. Yeah, you heard me, 8pm. At the Mercury Lounge. I know you didn't think it could be done, but you can.

    Wednesday, December 07, 2005

    Apparently breaking off your engagement is all the rage these days. (via Pink)

    Please Advise 

    Please Excuse Me While I Put On My Ironically Ironic (ooooh that's so Meta!) So It's Ironic Again Trucker Hat 

    Gawker Quiz: Are You a Hipster? Is the fact that FAB took this two days late an indication of just how not with the program we are? Yeah I scored a 5, which, for the record, is the lowest score you can get and still squeak by as "Culturally Aware." I'm going to pretend that this has something to do with the fact that we've spent fewer than 7 days in the City of New York in the last 10 months (we're pretty sure the combined clientele of the Local, Lenny's, the Earl, and Estoria just sighed a disdainful yet slightly wistful sigh). Just bear with us. Please.

    Too Little Too Late 

    Sienna Miller finally comes to her senses.

    Heeb Magazine's Heeb Storytelling night is tonight at Star Bar in L5P. Go find FAB a husband.

    Page Six is "happy to report that [Brittany] Murphy never used heroin or had sex with a strange man in a stairwell." Sure they are.

    Ten reasons to drink during the holidays. As if we need them.

    Hef claims Playboy has helped women more than men. No mention of pubescent boys.

    How to make a bike charger for your ipod. (via largeheartedboy)

    Parisian chicks don't give it up for 50.

    Billboard Music Awards, Greenday, blah blah blah.

    Eminem and Kim to make it official, again. And they said he was retiring. Feh.

    Franz Ferdinand release new live tracks on their website.

    In related news, Page Sixers prove they're even stupider and more irresponsible than they look.*

    Jacko shame spiral continues.

    Adam Sandler to become big daddy.

    Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen make it official, the divorce, that is.

    Paris Hilton: Still a waste of space. But just think what she's doing for the economy.

    Brandon Davis: Still a waste of space. But just think what he's doing for the economy.

    REM and Wilco get it together.

    Indie Interviews does the Long Winters.

    Heidi Klum being sued for stealing Project Runway.

    *If they'd actually done their research they would find that the WHO presently uses two case definitions of AIDS, the one they refer to here AND one that requires a blood test. The 1985 WHO case definition can be used in low resource settings and, while it does have low sensitivity and specificity, it is not nearly as haphazard as these dipshits would suggest. If, for some reason, you're actually interested, you can read the actual case definitions here.

    Tuesday, December 06, 2005

    Whatta Man, Whatta Man, Whatta Mighty Good Man 

    Britney gives Kevin a Time Out. And takes away his Ferrari. Ouch.

    Foxy Brown is almost completely deaf.

    Atlanta ranked 4th most literate city in the nation.

    Fergie admits the obvious. Even your publicists couldn't explain this.

    Scientists discover it's ok to be a fat ass alcoholic as long as you're also a caffeine addict. Sweet.

    Jessica and Nick's assistant gets all googly eyed for her fallen hero. In other news, Jessica may have also boinked that Maroon 5 guy.

    Redneck Tummy Tuck brought to you by duct tape. Why didn't FAB think of that?

    Uma claims she's still on the market. Take that, Andre.

    Pharrell wants to help you get laid. Seriously.

    Anybody want to see Jennifer Aniston's boobies? Anybody? Anybody? Didn't think so. Next.

    Boy George joins Antony on stage.

    Ian Schrager will let poor people into his hotel too.

    Kanye West does Santa Monica High.

    Stream the trailer for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

    Rachel Weisz is with child.

    Ear Notes: ATL 

    Tonight Deerhunter, Blood on the Wall, Psychic Ills, and Oxford Collapse will be at the Drunken Unicorn.

    Also Mazarin, Rogue Wave, and Jet By Day will be at the Earl.

    Monday, December 05, 2005

    The Mac 'N' Cheese Fritters, They Will Change Your Life 

    Last night FAB went here for dinner. Let us take a moment and bow our heads in honor of the person who decided to take a noodle, mix it with cheese, separate the noodle and cheese mixture into bite size nubs, batter them, and then drop them in the deep fryer for good measure. Verily, this person speaks directly to God.

    It Seems FABMommy Has Discovered The Internet After All 

    Cry Me A River 

    Live 8 honchos had absolutely no idea that Anna Nicole would, like, show up totally blitzed out of her mind and not really wearing much. In other news, Live 8 honchos didn't catch the 2004 AMAs.

    J. Timberlake hires vocal coach to make a man out of him.

    Hey, you gotta admire Pete Doherty's perseverance. Or something.

    Caterers serve foie gras at Audubon Society gala.

    Pitchfork interviews Wolf Parade.

    Welcome to Wookiepedia.

    Watch Sigur Ros' Reykjavik gig and Richard Ashcroft's new video "Break the Night with Colour."

    "It's not that I feel self-conscious, it's that I feel like my booty should be shown on special occasions, for special people."

    The NY Times' Style mag has ScarJo for the holidays.

    If you haven't already downloaded the new Strokes effort, you can get it here. (via Spencer)

    Madonna quits hunting after she makes the earthshattering discovery that all them bullets she's been firing into the air might actually hit something.

    The Rainbow Coalition to henceforth be known as the Jolie-Pitts.

    Men get drunk and thump chests at some sort of NASCAR event. At Marquee.

    Some 32 year old divorced Brazilian dude marries into the Onassis money family.

    No-diet diet and polygymous marriage. FAB's joining the Mormons.

    Stream and download new Iron and Wine/Calexico live sets.

    Marilyn Manson finally makes Dita Von Teese an honest woman.

    New Beck tracks

    Ear Notes: ATL 

    ASCAP and MySpace have teamed up together to put on a great show in Atlanta. Out of the many local unsigned acts vying for the opening slot, Kill Gordon was chosen to open the show tonight at Smith's Olde Bar. Music starts at promptly with Kill Gordon at 8:00, followed by the Gates Of Berlin, Sovus Radio, and A Fir-Ju Well. Four great bands, only $5 my friends.
    UPDATE: According to the venue website, it's $5 + 2 cans of food. (Thanks Paulie)

    Also, 99X's Mistle Toe Jam continues at the Tabernacle with Our Lady Peace, Coheed and Cambria, Rehab, and Living Things.

    Friday, December 02, 2005

    Weekend Ear Notes 

    Tonight check out MC Chris from Adult Swim at the Drunken Unicorn.

    FAB also recommends heading over to the Ten High to hear the Judies and Rockets to Ruin.

    Also, American Analog Set will be at the Earl with Chris Brokaw and the Close.

    Juliana Hatfield will be upstairs at the Masquerade.

    Saturday FAB recommends the Album 88.5 Benefit Show at Eyedrum featuring Deerhunter, Tenement Halls, I Am The World Trade Center, Slushco, and other bands. Doors at 6, music at 6:30.

    Minamina Goodsong
    , Collective Efforts, and Expatriots will be at the Earl.

    For our friends in Athens, Family Force 5 will be at Tasty World with Kill Gordon.

    Thursday, December 01, 2005

    Happy World AIDS Day! 

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