Fat Asian Baby

As part of a country-wide protest in 64 cities including New York, DC, Chicago, San Francisco, LA, and of course, Atlanta, there will be a protest at the CNN Center tonight at 8:00 p.m. before Bush's State of the Union address.

If you can't make it, spread the word.
If you can make it, bring the noise.
We don't have to live this way.

For more information, check out The World Can't Wait.

The Hammerstein Ballroom presale is sold out for both nights, but for those of you in Atlanta, a few more presale tickets are being made available for the Strokes' show on March 8th at the Tabernacle. Second presale begins today at 1:30pm. Two tickets per person. First come first serve.

Get tix here:
Username: thestrokes
Password: tickets

Otherwise, tickets go on sale to the general public on Friday.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Jan 30, 2006 1:35 PM

Doesn't this sound like the life?

Kobe Beef

Definition: [KOH-bee] An exclusive grade of beef from cattle raised in Kobe, Japan. These pampered cattle are massaged with sake and fed a special diet that includes plentiful amounts of beer. This specialized treatment results in beef that is extraordinarily tender and full-flavored. It also makes the beef extravagantly expensive, which is why it's rarely available in the United States


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: fatasianbaby.com
Date: Jan 30, 2006 4:36 PM

totally.except for the part where i eat them.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Jan 30, 2006 1:37 PM

i'd like to be the cattle massaged in sake, and then be me, when the beef is served

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: fatasianbaby.com
Date: Jan 30, 2006 4:41 PM

well yes. i think this goes without saying. now we just have to figure out how to make this dream a reality.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Jan 30, 2006 1:42 PM

i'm the idea man, now you unleash our plan

Oh good! I uninstalled and reinstalled iTunes and was slowly transfering songs in groups of ten and no more than thirty to fifty per day onto the iPod because apparently anything more left the iPod feeling abused and uncooperative. After a week, I had almost managed to transfer 1/3 of my paltry music collection and now it seems to have erased all of its contents again. I was supposed to spend this past week researching the research for my thesis so I have something to show for myself in my meeting with my advisor tomorrow, not getting fucked up the ass by a small white rectangle that cost almost as much as my rent. Fantastic!

KFed tries to create Sean Preston in his own image.

ABC anchor, cameraman and nameless Iraqi meet typical Iraqi fate.

Heidi Klum blasted for stating the obvious.


Peace out to Wendy Wasserstein.

Klutz trips on shoelaces, breaks priceless vases.


The Smiths reunite for a night.

Check Yeti.

Kill Rock Stars comp looking equally awesome.

WHICH British actor is said to be battling the dual demons of crystal meth and heroin? He already underwent a top-secret rehab stay, but his handlers are worried about him again after his zombie-like appearance at a recent awards gala.

The New York Times discovers 2005.

Arctic Monkeys blah blah blah.

Jessica Alba is hot.

Marquez takes a break.


Pitchfork does Robert Pollard.

The New York Times does Robert Pollard.

SXSW list updated. Again.

L.Lo likes them well done.

Everybody can relax now, Kenny Chesney likes girls.

Pete Doherty gets off.

Music Addict reviews the Futurists.

Baby Jessica all growed up and fulfilling her white trash destiny.

A Correspondents' Guide to the United States.

Holy homos, Batman! Clay Aiken has been outed! Nooo! I refuse to believe it. This man? Gay?

Kanye's dad calls him out.

Monkeys on ice. Why? I don't know.

In other news, Arctic Monkeys poised for total domination.

Sienna plays the beard.

Grandaddy passes on.

The Sun's Music Picks for 2006.

Watch this cool video of Stardust reentry.

Avril Lavigne comes roundabout in the circle of irony.

Stream Goldfrapp's Ride a White Horse video.

Nicole Kidman follows in Angie's footsteps.

Indie Interviews takes on Voxtrot.

AJC tips on how to celebrate the Lunar New Year in food.

NYTimes foodie tips on how to celebrate the Lunar New Year.

Britney reportedly spotted laughing. Laughing, I tell you!

Happy Birthday, ole boy.

Pete Doherty to stay in jail for a while.

Queen Esther buys another house, apparently still married.

So many choices this weekend:
Tonight, FAB recommends checking out the Woggles, the Selmanaires, and the Lizardmen at Star Bar.

FAB also recommends heading over to the Masquerade to hear the Gates of Berlin, Waving at Strangers, the Futurists, and Harrison Hudson.

If you're in the mood for something a little different, Sovus Radio, Kill Gordon, and the NEC will be playing several sets as part of College Night at the High Museum which will also feature live sketching and interactive art.

Also, the Whigs will be at the Earl.

Saturday night, FAB recommends hearing the Julius Airwave, the Modern Society, and Variac do it up at the 10 High.

Well I'm off to the godforsaken Lenox Square Mall that I generally avoid like the gym to undoubtedly be manhandled by 18 year old Apple employees who will gleefully inform me that they cannot help me.

Wish me luck.

Tonight FAB recommends checking out Criteria at the Earl with Moorish Idols and Ghost Tour.

Jodie Sweetin hits the ice.

Charlotte Church joins dancing reality show.

Aphex Twin to do something new for a change.

Guy gets stuck in frozen Port-a-Potty.

Everybody's talking about the Arctic Monkeys. Still.

Let's talk about them a little more, shall we?

FAB may just like this Shar Jackson girl after all.

Broken Social Scene talks to PopMatters about Broken Social Scene.

Pam and Kanye?

Video of Drew Barrymore spoofing her sagging Globes on SNL.

Will from Imperial Teen karaokes Chewing Gum with Annie herself.

Everybody's talking about the Elected lately. Pitchfork not that impressed.

Nor with Jenny Lewis either.

Kiss Atlanta gives us Tapes 'n Tapes mp3s.

Official leaves NASA to hunt for aliens.

Bridezilla goes apeshit on Star 94.

Red carpet pics from last night's Trumpet Awards.

Kurt Vonnegut talks to NPR about us.

FDA approves OTC diet pill. Where do we line up?

Andrea Bronfman killed by UES gypsy cab.

Train derails in Montenegro.

Canadia goes conservative. Seriously.

Ron Perelman reverts.

The Strokes hit the Tabernacle March 8.

Get your own rectal exam simulator.

New-ish Of Montreal.

Breaking: investigators believe UGA student's mysterious death due to alcohol. No shit, really?

Cell phones are the new lighters.

Dear Apple: Maker of iPods,

Fuck you.

Sincerely,
Fat Asian Baby

"Actually, I'm surprised there aren't more celebrities in burkhas. You wouldn't have to work out. You could let yourself go. We should design a non-religious celebrity burkha with a floral print." Like, totally.

In a victory to small sized people everywhere, Hobbit scores Evangeline Lilly.

Pandering to minority voters, Spitzer taps cross-eyed dude as running mate.

Paris decides to leave a little something to the imagination. Paris. Leaves. To the imagination. Cough.

J.Lo and Skeletore may have spawned. Be afraid.

Arctic Monkeys. So hot right now. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Stream When the Sun Goes Down video.

Stream When The Sun Goes Down video.

Former music teacher tries for his 15 minutes.

Guns 'n' Roses may reunite. Axl probably just delusional. Flippin' sweet.

Does this still constitute "news?"

Flaming Lips track list.

NY Daily News shameless ode to the FABtackular doppelganger.

Sirius censors Stern.

How to get non-RIAA music like a pro. (via largehearted boy)

Pasty giraffe to wed.

Cat Power's the Greatest sorta great.

NBC pulls plug on West Wing and Will & Grace. In other news, Dick Wolf still king.

Lou Reed calls the Factory Girl cast "a bunch of whores" and proclaims the film "one of the most disgusting, foul things I've seen — by any illiterate retard — in a long time." Sweet.

Dressing like you're homeless so totally hot right now.

La Blogotheque interviews Jose Gonzalez.

WHICH model-actress-whatever has some problems in the hygiene department? Famous for showing flesh and flashing smiles at all the chicest parties, this downtown wild child has a certain scent about her. Snotty scenesters blame it on her foreign upbringing, but she was raised here in the city . . . WHICH aging actress who claims that her strangely youthful face has been untouched by a surgeon's scalpel practically has a house account at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon's office? . . . WHICH A-list actress who is having trouble getting pregnant might have her mild case of anorexia to blame?

Last night, FAB kicked on a pair of strappy heels, skinny jeans, and a respectable shirt and headed out to an area we generally avoid due to irrational fears stemming from our brief stint working at SalomanMorganStearnsBarney, Midtown Atlanta. First stop was an open house party at the newly opened Spire Building across from the apparently famous Metropolis. We knew nothing about either the party or the building except that there would be free alcohol. And free alcohol was there ever.

The management of the Spire property had apparently thrown this party for its tenants, all of whom had moved in within the last two months, and their friends in an effort to fill the remaining 100-odd vacancies in the building. Rubbing shoulders with guys in crisp button downs and/or ties and girls in cute skirts and heels sent me on acid-like flashback to junior year of college when I spent many evenings playing at adulthood while loitering around the bar of the W Union Square sipping expensive martinis paid for by visiting businessmen and stealing apples for the decorative fruit display in the hotel lobby.

Even as the party moved to nearby midtown lounge-type establishments, I found that I could hold my own in pretending that I too was an adult who could plausibly live in a sparkling new building that seemed to be slightly more grown up version of what New Yorkers of a certain vintage derisively refer to as Superdorm or Dormandie. If Dormandie Court is the dumping ground for the thousands of recent college grads who move to Manhattan to make their way at various ad firms and paralegal positions, the Spire Building is the getting off point for young single professionals who are actually doing fairly well for themselves but still like to party. Yes, FAB was convincingly playing the part of a real live grown-up, blending seamlessly into the midtown scene, that is, until the business cards came out.

If I'm going to venture into midtown again, perhaps I should have some cards printed up that read Fat Asian Baby: Freelance Law and Order Consultant, Anything you want to know about any episode in any of the Dick Wolf franchises just so I don't feel left out during the inevitable business card exchange orgy.

Tonight check out Grupo Fantasma at the Earl.

Y-O-U, the Swear, and Boulevard will be at Vinyl.

Drive By Truckers will be at the 40 Watt in Athens.

Also worth checking out are the Orphins, Shock Cinema, and Parade Lenny's.

Last night, I dreamed that I got Brad Pitt to cheat on Jennifer Aniston right in plain view. Things were going great, believe you me, but then Angie showed up and ruined all our fun. Can you believe he left me for Angelina Jolie? In MY dream? Feh.

The Strokes will be kicking off their real tour at Hammerstein on March 3rd. Tickets go on sale to the public on Jan 27th, but tickets are already available here.
Username: thestrokes
Password: tickets
First come, first serve. Two ticket limit per person.

Good luck!

Jessica spurns Adam Levine.

Team Roddick-Sharapova?

The White Stripes do the Simpsons.

Meter Pops street installation.

Michael Bolton gets some from Desperate Housewife.

Colin Meloy hits the road.

Golden Globe breast lowdown.

50 Cent confronts Captain Obvious.

FAB most anticipated reality show of the season Skating With Celebrities debuts tonight on Fox.

Captain Obvious 2, 50 Cent 0.

Chanel gives Reese Kirsten Dunst's sloppy seconds.

Atlanta History Center does the Civil War.

Pitchfork reviews Miles Davis: The Cellar Door Sessions 1970.

William Shatner sells kidney stone.

Indie Interviews Explosions in the Sky.

Princess Madeleine to take the town.

The Sun buys sex slave.

Juvenile arrested.

Wu-Tang Clan to hit the road. Again.

Submissions for artist showcases at the NEMO Music Festival in Boston are now open. (via largehearted boy)

Madonna blames ridiculous workout obsession on guys.

Mariah, Kanye, John Legend to perform at Grammy's.

Hilary Swank hangs on.

WHICH cuckolded cutie suffered an additional heartbreak when she decided to abort her child? . . . WHICH downtown photographer, a descendant of one of the nation's wealthiest families, has his art world pals worried sick about his newfound fixation with shooting heroin? . . . WHICH high-tech billionaire keeps his massive yacht stocked with expensive escorts? . . . WHICH pop strumpet preferred a certain kind of sexual intercourse, which let her technically maintain her virgin status, with her various hookups before she married her current husband?

Any takers? And you don't win any points for the last one because my mother could probably figure that one out.

Ever since the NYTimes ran a series on the growth of Type II Diabetes in America, my parents have added diabetes to the list of health concerns to pester me with in a bid to get me to lose weight and engage in healthy living. My father brought the article up with me twice and urged me to keep my weight in mind before I escaped back to the South. And today, I received a letter in the mail (yeah apparently some people still send letters) from my mother. Tucked inside the envelope was the aforementioned article about fat asians and diabetes cut out from the New York Times as well as a helpful little list of secrets for living longer which include (surprise!) eating five servings of fruits and vegetables a day, watching your weight, watching your wallet, and engaging in physical activity. Thanks Mom!

FAB was going to make some tasteless reference to Chloe Sevigny here, but that isn't even the half of it.

The New York Times discovers Sufjan Stevens.

The Golden Globes. Blah, blah, blah.

Vanity Fair is the new Vanity Fair.

Mixing food with architecture photoshop contest.

View the trailer for Outkast's movie.

Eminem's grandmother points out the obvious.

TV in bedroom halves your sex life.

Diana DeGarmo heads to Hairspray.

Is the train wreck finally over? (2nd item down)

Brit and Spederspawn looking fugly.

Matt Damon spawns a girl.

Halle Berry will spawn with you.

NASA to probe Pluto.

LiLo does Sean Lennon.

I wish I had remembered that I had submitted some photos to the weekly Gridskipper photo contest a few weeks ago because then I would have checked back and seen that my photo was nominated for the week and could have rigged the voting by telling everyone I know to vote for me. Or at least I would've voted for me.
Ahh, well, at least I wasn't dead last.

On Sale Tomorrow:
Hall and Oates (!) at the Atlanta Symphony Hall on February 17th.

Fall Out Boy at the Gwinnett Arena Sunday, April 30th.

UPDATE: Several people have emailed me today to remind me that tickets for Clap Your Hands Say Yeah at the Variety Playhouse on March 10th went on sale today. Buy your tickets now or don't say I didn't warn ya.

Tonight check out Blowfly, the Spooks, and Eastside All Stars at the Drunken Unicorn.

Mantissa, the Jupiter Watts, and Contract Camp will be at Lenny's followed by the Lenny's Friday night Trashed PBR dance party. Read about Mantissa in the last edition of Southeast Performer.

Tiger! Tiger! and Persona will be at the Earl.

As usual, DJ Preston Craig will be hosting the Decatur Social Club at Azul, this week is the viewing party for the Bloc Party DVD that comes out next week.

Saturday night, check out the Judies, Rantings of Eva, and Telegram at the 10 High.

La Lohan and Kate Moss nearly tear a hole in the universe.

Nick admits what no man should admit.

Are you a Yindie? (via largehearted boy)

Harry Winston follows FAB to Atlanta.

New Pantheon Award finalists announced.

7% of workers drink on the job. That's all?

Kiss Atlanta reviews the Strokes live show at the Loft

Criteria to hit the Earl on Jan 25th.

Britney exposes the world to Sean Preston.

Jake Gyllenhaal openly admits he shagged Chelsea Clinton. (via Popbitch)

In other news, Sony Music targets the gays.

Brit Awards planners hope Paris will bring the stupid.

Sam Mendes may
quit.

Pitchfork wants you to discover Belle and Sebastian all over again live.

South Beach Wine & Food Festival to tear a hole in the universe.

Pete Doherty stands up Stoke.

Hot in 2006: Celebrity Potheads.

Gwinnett drug busts reach all time high.

Tonight the newly reunited Californias will be doing their thing at the Masquerade. We hear that they're not to be missed.

Brad places world's hottest bun in the oven.

France has big dicks. South Korea has little dicks.

Cool street art photos at Netherworld Online. (via gothamist)

Drive By Trucker guests lectures in UGA's new Music Business Certificate class. (via largehearted boy)

Pete Doherty pleads guilty.

Guess how Marion Barry did on his drug test.

Telemarketer counter-script.

Levi's introduces iPod jeans.

Brit Awards nominations.

BET swears its Lil' Kim reality show about going to prison won't glorify Lil' Kim going to prison.

Mr. Blackwell's Best and Worst of 2005.

Vanity Fair's LiLo cover article is all lies. She never had an eating disorder OR a drug problem. Obvs.

George Bush I to dedicate UGA building.

NME Chart 2006.

Naomi Campbell overcomes fear of death by putting makeup on a dead woman.

Courtney Love loses house.

Jessica Simpson sells love nest.

Nick is over blondes.

Kate Beckinsale is insecure.

Mariah, Kanye, Alicia Keys lead NAACP Image Award nominations. In other news, Mariah and Alicia are black.

Saddle Creek launches Digital Vinyl program.

Indie Interviews has Jana Hunter.

Dave Navarro attacked by really tall dude.

"As one who adores the male species, I feel compassionately towards them."

Sam Mendes admits the obvious.

We Are Scientists' With Love and Squalor to go public tomorrow.

Read about it on Kiss Atlanta.

In other news, Keith Murray talks to Newday.

Pink marries a dude.

Alex Kapranos labels Liam "neurotic young girl."

Live Pixies ain't half bad.

Britney just adores her new doll.

LiLo does Leo.

Jamie Foxx enjoys being rich.

Kate Beckinsale continues to insist that she's not Kate Winslet.

Macauley pens thinly veiled tale of fucked up family life.

Jermaine Dupri ready to dish.

WHICH hunky actor was known as "garbage [bleep]" back in high school? It seems he was willing to sleep with any girl who would let him, no matter what she looked like...?

Christina strikes back at Kelly Osbourne.

DFA already working on a side project.

ModPod #26.

Arnie falls off his bike.

Ok so I've been away for the last week and now everybody knows that the not-so-secret secret Strokes show is tonight at the Loft. So if you have your ticket in your hot little hand, then pat yourself on the back, and if you don't, well, sorry.

We're off to some Caribbean paradise with the FABParents where we expect to ingest copious quantities of fried plantains and funny island drinks with tasty calorific mixers served in funny coconut shells while FABMommy suggests that we get off our fat ass and get some exercise already.

See you in a week.

This afternoon as I was poking through the paltry offerings of the FABFamily fridge, the only remotely appetizing edible I could find was frozen creamed spinach. I was contemplating a box of noodles to accompany it when FABMommy informed me that she really did not like the idea of me eating creamed spinach and pasta and not getting any exercise. I guess it's a good thing I didn't tell her about the bacon, egg, and cheese bagel and onion rings I ate yesterday at Gina's house while watching five hours of Iron Chef America.

Spears and spawn step out.

Stereogum readers vote Sufjan Mr. Indie Rock 2005. Nobody saw that one coming.

NPR's Morning Edition spotlights Atlanta.

Anybody have the location of the Strokes secret Atlanta show next week?

Henry County plans paintball park.

Obie Trice shot in Detroit.

Eminem preps for his next album.

“Kate finds Jamie very sexy. He has that rock ’n’ roll look she loves. And it makes her feel good that she can pull a 20-year-old.”

San Francisco Chronicle names top pop discoveries for 2006.

Fashion diva Tom Ford pitches a fit.

Talking About How Great You Are And Posting Gratuitous Pics Of Yourself Starfucking Various Boldface Names Is The New Blog.

Georgia introduces NASCAR vanity plates.

Koreans are the new cool.

Breaking: Celebrities Embrace Blow. Like whoa!

South Carolina: giant hotel minibar no longer.

Too much rain in California.

Not enough rain in Oklahoma.

Indie Interviews spotlights Texas.

Former FAB classmate kidnapped and released

Former FAB classmate finds success as a starfucker, probably still pops collar.

Brooklyn Vegan has pics from the CYHSY/The National NYE show that FAB opted not to attend, but doesn't say much about the show itself.

Really Lonely Planet: 16 Travel Tips for the Developing World.

Gwyneth returns to the fold.

Zapatistas step out.