Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Sweet Jesus 

Incorporating the infant into her kinky bedroom nativity scene? I bet this has something to do with that voodoo Kabbalah bullshit she's always spouting about.

And presenting the only all-lesbian Led Zeppelin cover band: Lez Zeppelin. You knew it had to happen sooner or later. Wait, what?

And newly discovered Jeff Mangum demos. It seems Christmas has come early for young FAB.

Darling, You're Exposed! 

Apparently Jessica and Nick were so busy admiring themsleves that they forgot to sign a prenup. Let the fun begin.

Jack White knocks up new wife.

Christina Aguilera considering changing her name to Maria Bratman cause that's like, you know, slightly less goyische sounding and all. Also plans to put a bun in the oven asap.

Bat-crazy love only lasts a year.

"Thanks to Yale, I didn't wake up butt naked in a chateau wearing handcuffs, thinking, 'Why am I here — with a headache?!' Who would have thought an Ivy League education would have come in handy that way?" Well since you put it that way...Go Lions!

The little magic trolls responsible for the Whitney Biennial, that orgy of American contemporary artistic Americanness, suddenly and inexplicably discover Europe.

And the countdown to the Boy George/George Michael catfight starts now.

Now you can own Jerry Garcia's dishwasher. Sweet.

Cheeseter du jour Kristen Cavallari gets an extra fifteen minutes.

Finnish computer science students bring the guitar to air guitar.

Yet another suspect escapes APD custody.

Cookshop ain't half bad.

Oooh Honey, look: Holiday Remixes from DFA Records.

Despite all appearances, the man, he's got a plan.

Across the country, colleges are trying to reposition themselves to attract more high-quality students and raise their national profiles. But perhaps nowhere is this more challenging than in the South, where university officials often find themselves struggling to temper Confederate imagery without alienating alumni and donors determined to uphold their heritage.

Wages still lag in the South.

Has Julie Andrews been hitting the crack pipe or something?

CYHSY go vinyl

Ear Notes: ATL 

Tonight Sound Team will be at the Earl with Kill Gordon and League of Evil.

Garrison Reid's Sound Team interview

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Overheard Goldens 

No, That's Pretty Much Judaism

Girl #1: I really like matzoh bread.
Girl #2: Yeah, my friend makes it really amazing because she fries it in butter and sugar. It's so good.
Girl #1: Wait, is that allowed? I thought matzoh was supposed to be about suffering.

--Lafayette Street Residence

Define "Better"

Drunk boy: God, fucking Bedford is so fucking gentrified.
Drunk girl: Go to the Lorimer stop. It's way better there.

--Bedford Avenue station

Heavy Notes 

"She's sold her soul and betrayed her country. Hacking her to death would not be good enough." Ouch.

Kate Moss and her bite size boobies.

Lawyers target Coke targeting schools.

Guy invents teen repellant.

The MJ meltdown continues. Oh yeah, and those white kids, they're not really his.

Hollywood's happy swingers continue swinging right along into the next warm bed.

Britney sends Xtina a guide to making your marriage, uh, last or something.

Bono or Swayze: who first popularized the mullet?

Pitchfork reviews Death Vessel's label debut, Stay Close.

Sufjan Stevens Christmas Album (Thanks Matt Musick)

Colin Meloy perpetuates major signing rumors in Prefix interview.

Kimberly Stewart breaks off 11 day engagement to Talan. Now hopefully both can disappear into irrelevency again.

Aaron Spelling’s Nurse: I Was Defenseless Against His 82 Year Old, 73 lb Sexual Advances!

Something Jewish reviews Matisyahu's London debut.

Harry Potter admits to being mobbed by crazed Australian LOTR fans who think he's Frodo.

NashvilleZine interviews Sound Team. (They'll be at the Earl tomorrow night.)

Indie Interviews' Garrison Reid chats up The Octopus Project.

Listen to the new Jenny Lewis track Born Secular here. (via Fluxblog)

The Fatales are out of the studio with a darker, more mature sound.
Listen to one of their new tracks, Darkened Country.
FAB on the Fatales

Monday, November 28, 2005

So You Want To Be A Rock Star? 

Freebass, the side project/love child of New Order's Peter Hook, The Smiths' Andy Rourke and The Stone Roses Mani, is looking for a singer who can step into the shoes of Ian Brown, Bobby Gillespie, Ian Curtis, Bernard Sumner and, uh, Morrissey.
Good luck guys.

And, hot off the presses (or mixer) Q-Unit Greatest Hits.

Say It Ain't So 

It seems that starring in crappy movies and being married to the man responsible isn't quite enough for Madonna.

WHICH hard-partying hottie has herpes? The unlucky gal is notorious for calling her pharmacist and screaming that her Valtrex prescription be filled "Now! It's an emergency!" The pharmacist is sick of how she treats him and is telling other customers about her blistery problem . . . Now who on earth could this be?

In other news, authorities seize Paris' monkey. The little one.

Elton to tie the knot next month.

Buckhead positioning to become the Beverly Hills of the South. Snicker.

NJ developers hope to preserve the area's heritage by incorporating 60 ft beer bottle from old PBR brewery into local park

Britney's publicists get their claws in the Daily News.

This time around, Pitchfork claims to
adore charming little Swedish songster Jens Lekman.

And hell yeah, Isaac Hayes.

Mr. T makes a comeback.

Zaha Hadid designs cool new science museum in Germany.

In other news, someone at the Times Magazine blames Le Corbusier for the French riots. Cute.

American Media didn't get the memo from Captain Obvious. In other news, the people who work for Star magazine are apparently called "reporters."

Ivana trumps Donald with an even younger toy. Ew.

Man pushed into oncoming 7 train

Take That come back.

The New York Times tries to incite the liberals into giving a shit but spends more time gazing at them backwards Africans and largely misses the point.

Morrissey. Talks About. New Album

Ear Notes: ATL 

Tonight head on down to the Variety Playhouse to catch Tegan and Sara.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Throw the Jew Down the Well 

Spederline once again overshadows Xtina.

Cast your vote in the PLUG Independent Music Awards.

Pitchfork calls DFA's Romance Bloody Romance the worst release of 2005. I smell blood.

Stop the Presses: Posh's titties are, like, totally fake!

Jacko thinks Jews are moneysucking parasites. How original.

The Strokes secret New York show rumors continue. Out: Joe's Pub. In: Irving Plaza. FAB wants in.

Georgia Aquarium finally opens its doors.

Oh. Ok. Leto and LiLo not getting married after all. In fact, who said they were even dating? Can somebody please tell me why Leto still gets A-List hooha? I mean really.

Somebody please tell Bai Ling she's embarrassing the Asians.

Damian Kulash, of the band that every non-female hipster who won't call himself a hipster over the age of 16 loves to hate, is guest blogging at Coolfer. Hey, FAB dug the dancing video.

Former Emory med student gets 2 years for exposing partners to HIV.

"Just because it is rated 'mature' doesn't mean you shouldn't buy it for your kids," says child-rearing expert, Curtis Jackson.

50 Cent, looking kinda, um, gay.

Go cock-free for three if you want in the priesthood.

Oh, so NOW she wants to pop out some puppies. Too little, too late, Jen.

The Mets deal for Delgado.

Women spend 60 days in bed for research. Mmm, sweet, sweet research.

Flat Pack refugee housing by SHRIMP. (via boing boing)

Ralph Fiennes caught sucking face with Gina Gershon. So, um, yeah.

FAB wants spicy sweet potato pancakes for Hannukah Thanksgiving.

Almost sounds as though Sienna and Jude are already married.

Hot middle school teacher pleads guilty to sex with student. Student probably still getting pats on the back for nailing hot middle school teacher.

Ear Notes: ATL 

Tonight check out Elf Power at the Earl with the Earlies and Ocha La Rocha.

A Fir-Ju Well will be at the Drunken Unicorn with Anna Kramer, the Licentious 5, and the Cubist.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

So Juvenile, So Cliche, Yet Still Funny 

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI could pretend that the fact that this photo was clearly assisted by photoshop or churchsigngenerator (whatever that is) sonmehow diminishes it's value, but why? (via superlertive)

There She Is... 

Meet the 2006 Miss Georgia USA Contestants. (via Atlanta Metblog)

And, uh, it's not like we're trying to make a point here with the juxtaposition or anything snide like that, but let us just take this moment to reiterate how much FatAsianBaby.com loves loves loves Overheard in New York (we're not sure how old this one is, but many thanks to Leah for finally bringing it to our attention).

Suit ..1: So how was working in the Atlanta office? Hook up with any girls there?

Suit ..2: Man, every girl in that city who's over 21 is either married or divorced. Lots of good-looking ones, though. But it's like you think you're in Barney's and it's really Salvation Army.

--Park & 48th

The End of An Era 

Tara Reid takes little Kirsten Drunkst under her wing.

More Africans dying from hunger and malnutrition today than before.

In related news, apparently giving up food is starting to affect Angelina's ability to, um, walk.

Piedmont Parking Deck declares victory.

Stream Stereophonics.

Watch out New York! Apparently city officials have let Federscuzz through customs. FAB hopes he starts break dancing in the streets.

Now that they're all domestic-like, Xtina and Britney have kissed and made up. Boo.

Mariah leads AMA Nominees.

Crazy Christians keep sending bibles to Hermione in a bid to bring her back to the Muggle moral code.

WHICH hip-hop mogul has a group of women he calls "The Chickenheads" who are employed solely to provide oral sex whenever he wants? No wonder his "girlfriend" left town.

WHICH squeaky-clean young singer/actress was overheard snorting cocaine in the ladies' room at a recent concert at Bowery Ballroom?

GSU prof faces child porn charges.

Pitchfork digs the Armenian output and Lil' Kim's Naked Truth.

The Sherry Netherland teeters on its death bed.

50 Cent's press junket for his new film Get Rich or Die Tryin' court testimony reveals he lived authentic ghetto lifestyle before finally becoming v. v. rich.

Alex Turner tops NME's Cool List 2005.

When TiVo met iPod.

Chris Whitley succumbs to lung cancer.

Bob Dylan's university poems sold to the highest bidder.

Ear Notes: ATL 

Tonight Hot Hot Heat will be doing some sort of special 99X related show at the Roxy with the Redwalls and Diamond Nights.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Funny How I Already Had This Image Saved On My Hard Drive From Last Year 

For the first time ever, FAB will not be venturing up to Westchester for Thanksgiving. We've got the whole New York Suburban Jew thing down pat, so we decided that it was time to experience a good old fashioned Southern family-style Thanksgiving. Due to unexpected last minute scheduling changes, the old fashioned Southern family-style Thanksgiving we had planned to attend will not be taking place as usual. In an unrelated conversation, the Highly Alarmist Roommate casually mentioned that while driving down Cheshire Bridge, she noticed that Nasters, our neighborhood Gentlman's Club*, will be hosting a Thanksgiving buffet. The wheels in our head, they are a-turnin'.

*Though, truth be told, there is more than one neighborhood gentlemans club in this here neighborhood.

Message in an E-Bottle 

Dear FABBro,

Why did you not inform me of Jeff Mangum's presence in your holy temple?

I am quite distressed. In fact, I am probably more distressed than your baby was when he done up and broke.

I just thought you should know.


PS. This might finally be my year for deep fried turkey.

And Because We Derive Pleasure In Others' Displeasure... 

J. Simpson lookin' rough.

B. Spears lookin' rough.

Madonna lookin', um, lippy.

Oh yeah and Xtina tied the knot

And finally, thank God and at long last, Courtney Love is loose. It's been rather slow here without her (not that we're like, not rooting for her full and total recovery or anything.)

FAB Wants Pivo 

The Dayton Accords ended the war in Bosnia and Herzegovina 10 years ago today. Yet, for the average Bosnian outside of Sarajevo and maybe Banja Luka, the ethnic divisions of a decade ago are as salient as ever and the confusing political organization isn't helping. This summer in Srebenica, following the commemoration of the massacre, tensions were running as high as they had ever been. FAB wonders how a region of people who have spent the better part of the last 20 years defining themselves by their perceived differences from each other and from Europe will cohere and transition into the European community. And will the European community want a potential powder keg with an unemployment rate of 40%?

NPR on the state of things.

If you're a visual person and you want the illustrated tour, check out FAB's pictures here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and finally here.

That Man, He Has A Way With Footnotes 

Gina's sister, Gina Jr., will be taking a high level creative writing workshop this spring with David Foster Wallace. THE David Foster Wallace. The David Foster Wallace whom I discovered teaches at Pomona around the time that Gina Jr. announced she would be matriculatingin the fall. Naturally, I began plotting my visit to California immediately even though I've only met Gina Jr. that one time when she was in high school and we snuck her into our second home, 1020. Time has passed, I haven't read a book for pleasure in years, Gina Jr. is now a senior, and I have yet to stalk the halls of the English Composition building on Pomona's beautiful campus. This morning when Gina Jr. confirmed her enrollment in the class, I sent Gina the following email "dfw is my super uptighty tight, overly self important, unneccessary footnote using, pretentiously long winded dream guy. i am sooo jealous." And as God as my witness, I meant every word. Now, if only he was Jewish...

A Few Cries for Help and an Unrelated Item 

While looking for pinups of Jayne Mansfield, I stumbled upon this guy's If They Mated. Although many of the parent offspring triads look similar across the board, I think he's hit upon some quite good ones. And he even has arranged for the Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt offspring contingency.

What is malt vinegar for? I'm fairly certain I had never encountered malt vinegar as a table condiment before moving to Georgia, and I still haven't quite figured out its proper role.

I want to go ice skating. Anybody know where I could go twirl around on the ice for a few hours?

Has anybody been to the new Georgia Aquarium? How was it?

Has anybody been to the new High Museum? How was it?

Friday, November 18, 2005

Weekend Notes, Mostly of the Ear Variety 

I won't bore you with the details of linking up this one (see left). Just suffice it to say that I am in the midst of a shit spiral in school, but I will be at the Ten High tonight, and, God help me, I will be rip-roaring drunk.

Moving right along...The Oranges Band will be helping the Selmanaires, Anna Kramer, and Shock Cinema all celebrate their 7" releases at the Earl.

The Whigs
will be having their CD release at Smith's Olde Bar with Taylor Hollingsworth and Trances Arc.

G. Love and Special Sauce (Hello Adam) will be at the Roxy. I bet that will be a fun show.

Butch Walker will be at Earthlink Live. Afterparty to follow at the Loft with Randy from the Booze and AMG's non-fat Asian Baby Angeline.

Oh yeah, and some band called U2 will be holding court at Philips Arena.

Also of interest tonight is Art Beat Lyrics' Cold Busted Art show from 7 to midnight at the Defoor Centre.

Preston's birthday extravaganza continues at Decatur Social Club from 11-4 with Jordan Jeffares (of Snowden fame) making his directorial debut.

Saturday night, FAB highly recommends heading over to the Earl to check out De Novo Dahl, Modern Skirts, and Y-O-U.

The Orphins
will be at Lenny's with a bunch of other bands that I've never heard of and am too lazy to type.

And U2 will still be at Philips.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Special Guest Blogger (And He Doesn't Even Know It) 

Due to the persistence of stubborn midterm that refuses to be written and some other unrelenting assignments, FAB has invited special guest blogger, MC Nuggets to talk about CUTunes.com.
Of course, what I really mean is that I'm too damn busy to create my own post so why don't you read what Eric wrote about it yesterday on his own and hopefully we won't be reprimanded for plagiarism.

Ear Notes: ATL 

Tonight WMRE presents A Fir-Ju Well, the Selmanaires, the Whigs, and God's America at Harland Cinema at Emory University. This event is FREE and will probably not be well attended since based on anecdotal evidence, the Emory University student body is not particularly interested in local music. Unless there is also beer, of course. Then again, what the hell do I know? FAB rarely spends any time on the undergraduate campus because it reminds us too much of Scarsdale High School except with more trees and fewer late model SUVs and Asians.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

First Day of My Life 

Anna Nicole steps up to bat for the other team.

KFed attempts to shake tailfeather, falls off podium, breaks hand.

Much to our surprise and dismay, Tara Reid successfully completes another decade.

Bitter ex-Sub Pop employee selling Postal Service Give Up gold record on Ebay. (via Pitchfork)

GQ names Jennifer Aniston Man of the Year. Um, nice boobies.

FAB can only dream of being assaulted with Easy Cheese.

Alito flip flops on abortion?

John Lennon's killer, still crazy after all these years.

Google continues quest for world domination.

"For a sizable group of people in their 20's and 30's, deciding on their own what drugs to take - in particular, stimulants, antidepressants and other psychiatric medications - is becoming the norm." In other news, FAB is fresh out of Vicodin and could clearly benefit from Adderall. Anybody?

Hello favorite holiday of the year.

In other news, some helpful tips on how to safely deep fry your turkey.

Bright Eyes live not too whiney.

Scotty to be beamed up.

Charlotte Church hates her legs.

50 Cent continues quest for world domination.

For some reason, Madonna just keeps on yakking away.

Ear Notes: ATL 

So apparently none of y'all are really paying attention anyway. The Bright Eyes, Feist, Magic Numbers show at the Georgia Theatre that I mentioned was yesterday is actually tonight. So, um, yeah, my bad.

Also tonight Okkervil River, Man Man, and Charles Bissell will be at the Earl.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Dear Friends,
When my time is up, would you please see to it that the undertaker shoves a Double Decker Taco™ halfway into my mouth prior to interment? Quite frankly, I can't think of any sweeter way to spend eternity than rejoicing in Taco Bell.

Must obliged,


Ear Notes: ATL 

Tonight Bright Eyes, Feist (ugh), and the Magic Numbers will be at the Georgia Theatre in Athens.

Ben Folds and the Fray will be at the Tabernacle.

Calvin Johnson, Tender Forever, and Mountains will be at the Drunken Unicorn.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Ear Notes: ATL or No One At The New Yorker Has An Anus 

Tonight check out Broadcast with support from Gravenhurst at the Earl.

*I do apologize, but this may well be the only post of the day. It's recently been brough to my urgent attention that my eyes are going to explode out of my head and I may or may not also blow chunks at any given moment. And with that, I bid you adieu, my friends.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Sometimes We Just Really Love People We Don't Even Know And Will Probably Never Meet 

I'm sorry, but I can't stop chuckling to myself. (Pic via cityrag via caseyervin)

Enter the Publicists 

"She is a 23-year-old mom who was in amazing shape before she got pregnant and was able to get back in shape after the baby arrived." And no she's not depressed either.

Dreadful ATL song persists.

Breaking News! Most Americans doubt President Bush's honesty. Where was everyone a year ago?

Where was Barbara Bush a year ago? One Popbitch reader was at a Texas dinner party recently and sat next to a friend of Barbara Bush, Dubya's mother. Over the meal she confided that the Bush family only evercalled the President by his rather patronising family nickname, "Junior". And that on a recent hunting trip she'd asked Barbara what George was like.

"Junior? Hmmmm..." Barbara apparently sighed.
"He's not like the rest of us."

Mrs Bush's friend leant towards our source to explain. "Here in Texas... that means he's stupid."

Breaking News! Publicists, they lie about their clients' sex lives, even if their client is the daughter of a former president and nobody really wants to know about her sex life in the first place.

"You have a cock in your mouth, dear. This really is no time to pose."

As their album release nears, the Strokes will play "secret" club shows in several cities that most likely will not include Atlanta.

Exit MK, enter L.Lo.

"If you were a hipster, you wouldn't go to Yale." Oh the funny.

ScarJo looking rough.

Pete Doherty actually doesn't fuck something up for once. Listen to it here. Of course, he can't seem to figure out where he put his bloody passport, but FAB can relate.

Naomi Campbell and Tyra Banks finally retract their claws.

Russell Crowe throws a public temper tantrum. Yawn.

Suck it, Blockbuster.

Even Paris' diamonds are fake. Classy.

And she's been prank calling exBFF Nicole Richie. Classy.

The Out 100 to hit newstands next week. Super.

Gay Quebecois politician's popularity increases when he admits that he did, in fact, snort. Genial!

Oprah will never tie the knot with Stedman. Smart lady.

Baby Spice grows up.

At First I Was Afraid, I Was Petrified 

Actually, when this calculator thing first circulated a few weeks ago, I was a little cranky. I have since learned not to measure my self worth with an interactive blog calculator. Well, sort of.

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

I'm still pretty sure George is smirking at me.

Ear Notes: Weekend Edition 

Tonight the Perceptionist featuring Mr. Lif, Akrobatik, and DJ Fakts One.will be at the Drunken Unicorn.

Psyche Origami's "The Standard" CD Release shindig continues at the Earl with Cadillac Jones, 45 Live improv set, and art show.

After hours, head over to the Decatur Social Club at Azul for the DEATH TO PRESTON CRAIG Party To Mourn His 30th Birthday. Wake style.
Preston is bringing the goodies including:
  • 7 cases of SPARKS (it's like redbull with vodka in a can) for all who arrive before 12:30.
  • We Are Scientists CDs
  • FREE CONDOMS (hey... those things get expensive... stock up), and
  • LCD Soundsystem Private Party tickets
    OH... also... room 2 is open this week for Anyone Can Be A DJ... bring out your ipod, cd's, (if you need turntables... bring them early). Anyone wanting to DJ needs to come by early to sign-up (between 11 and 12 please).

    Oh Saturday night, there are more tasty options than you'll know what to do with. For starters, FAB recommends the aforementioned LCD Soundsystem show at Earthlink Live. KissAtlanta, they've got something to say about LCD Soundsystem.

    Some of FAB's favorite and least favorite people but who incidentally also happen to be some of Atlanta's most talented musicians will be at Smith's Olde Bar. Variac and the Modern Society will be setting the stage for the Tender Idols. If you support the local music scene, are a 16 year old girl, or just can't resist hotness armed with a guitar, these guys are not to be missed.

    Or check out Super Furry Animals and Caribou at the Loft.

    Not satisfied yet, Snowden and very promising newcomers Tora Tora Tora will be playing the Drunken Unicorn for Sleep Therapy's CD release party.

    Last but not least, Magnapop and Soft Collision will be at the Earl with Sybris.

  • Thursday, November 10, 2005

    New York, New York circa, uh, Sunday I Guess 

    (pic via cityrag via Michelle Collins)

    Not Exactly Packing Heat 

    LiLo has officially lost her mind.

    Stella McCartney, she has arrived. You animals better leave something pretty on the rack for FAB.

    FAB also wants a remote-controlled turtle, for, uh, well, I dunno exactly, but I really do want one.

    You're 24 years old and engaged. Are you fucking insane? Baruch Hashem.

    OMG! Those crazy teens of Coronation Street are DOING THE NASTY! TEENAGERS! Doing IT! Imagine that!

    OMG! Coldplay! They're going on some kind of huge super-arena tour thing! Coldplay! BIG ASS TOUR! Imagine that!

    Gentlemen, start your TiVos: the Victoria Secret Fashion Show is back.

    Enrique Iglesias to introduce his own line of Enrique-endorsed junior sized condoms. Enrique, we never knew ye.

    "For the sake of your career, go and sleep with that man." So how does he explain Brandon Davis?

    Elf Power will hit the Earl on November 23rd.

    Record setting tower of donuts. Mmm, donuts.

    Everyone is thrilled you're a couple. Now could you stop talking about it, please? From your monitor, to God's ears.

    Woodstock man felt "sheer panic" during pirate attack. Yes, yes I suppose he would.

    Despite appearances, you can't always get what you want.

    Money can't buy you happiness, but Daddy knows that it sure can buy a ridiculous Bat Mitzvah for his beloved little JAP.

    The Economist Whore Index.

    Incoming: somebody out there does not want to give Kate Bush a beejer and that somebody happens to live on a street called Pitchfork.

    Joe Francis is plotting some sort of big ass party and you're not invited.

    Do we hear a Jackson Five reunion?

    Oh Darwin, where are you when we need you most?

    The Ledger/Dogface/Ledger clan rubs the Dean Street noses the wrong way.

    T.O.'s Lithonia crib is up for grabs.

    Yes, even the great and magnificent Dowd lives in our society.

    DJ Magazine's Top 100 DJs 2005.

    Ear Notes: ATL 

    Tonight Deerhunter and Get Hustle will be at the Drunken Unicorn.

    Or you could check out Psyche Origami's "The Standard" CD Release w/ Collective Efforts, Binkis, and X:144 and SPS at the Earl.

    Wednesday, November 09, 2005

    Northside Tavern, circa 11pm 

    The guy, that's a chicken coop he's playing.

    In The Style Of 

    How to eat sushi. (via Best Week Ever)

    (Some)Penises I Have Known Sculpture on Ebay. (via boingboing)

    Noel Gallagher channels Liam Gallagher.

    Apparently the Hilton family lives under a giant rock.

    Maybe now they'll finally figure out just who that Stavros guy is, the Greek shipping heir who crashed Paris' Bentley into a truck. Slick.

    CYHSY vs. the National: the indie rock soccer showdown. (via Brooklyn Vegan)

    The belugas have entered the building.

    The Great Gatsby great mansion up for grabs for great fortune.

    Diddy does the impossible, becomes even more tacky.

    Rumor has it that People Magazine will name Matthew McConaughey its "Sexiest Man Alive" this year. FAB wonders when his comeback movie comes out.

    David Bowie gets around the independent rock scene.

    Halle Berry may spawn.

    The Daily News interviews Naomi Foner Gyllenhaal who has finally taken her husband's name after more than two decades of marriage but of course that has nothing to do with her children. We prefer to think of her as Naomi Foner, Eric Foner's sister.

    Hey buddy, just where did you think you were going with that 320 pounds of dank hydro?

    Madonna streams.

    Tuesday, November 08, 2005

    Here We Go Again 

    Heaven help us. It's only a matter of time before Touched By Ink-Stained Hands, the racy roman a clef exposing former NYTimes executive editor Howell Raines as the sex ravaged Bedroom Beast/Editor Extraordinaire that he is, reaches the shelves of Barnes and Nobles. FAB better start poking her eyes out now.

    Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders arrested for having sex in a bar bathroom. FAB's pretty sure the bar patrons were just testy because they weren't allowed to watch.

    FAB can't wait to get her sticky little paws on Bar Mitzvah Disco to relive all those awkward moments slow dancing to Bryan Adams' Everything I Do (I Do It For You). Or was it sitting in the corner waiting for someone to ask me to dance to Bryan Adams' Everything I Do (I Do It For You). Funny how I can't seem to remember anymore.

    New research shows that beer helps fight cancer. Perhaps FAB should reconsider her thesis research ideas.

    The old Joaquin Phoenix brain eating frog acid trip during interview story finally makes it to Page Six.

    Wacko recording new tracks with the only children in the world he's not yet legally barred from seeing.

    NYTimes Style gurus point out several levels of obvious about America's Next Top Model.

    Introducing Miss Georgia USA 2006.

    DMBQ's van rolls over on I-95 on the way from Baltimore to Brooklyn, killing drummer China Nishiura and seriously injuring other band members. Donations to help cover the band's medical and travel expenses can be made via Paypal to dmbqpanache@lovepumpunited.com.

    And the horses are off.

    Former Emory med student pleads guilty to reckless conduct for having unprotected sex without disclosing his HIV positive status.

    GBV's stock goes up. Party like it's 1992.

    Madonna leaks.

    Binge eating: trifecta of stress, deprivation, and fatty salty snacks. FAB wouldn't know anything about it. (via boing boing)

    Apparently Kimberly Stewart and Joe Francis have no more use for each other.

    50 Cent reinvents his originary story in his movie "Get Rich or Die Tryin."

    Ear Notes: ATL 

    Tonight Mazarin will be at the Earl with local acts Slushco and Cassavetes.

    Kill Gordon will be doing an acoustic set in the Atlanta room at Smith's Olde Bar.

    Monday, November 07, 2005

    Out To Lunch 

    ...But I'll be back tomorrow, my friends.

    Friday, November 04, 2005

    Weekend Notes 

    Tonight FAB recommends checking out the Selmanaires CD Release party at Lenny's with Anna Kramer and Hub Cap City.

    Freakwater, the Zincs, and No River City will be at the Earl.

    The All-American Rejects
    will be at the Tabernacle with the Academy Is and Rooney.

    Tomorrow during the day, everybody* should head over to Cabbagetown Park for the annual Chomp and Stomp.

    Tomorrow night FAB recommends conjuring up some tickets for Depeche Mode and the Bravery at the Gwinnett Arena.

    FAB and her fear of arena rock will be holdin down at Lenny's to hear Sovus Radio, Hot Grits, and the King Congregation. Atlanta Music Guide on Sovus Radio. Kiss Atlanta's interview with Sovus Radio.

    FAB also recommends heading over to the Earl to hear the Joggers, GoGoGo Airheart, Werewolf Union, and Mommy and Daddy.

    Sunday is the monthly gathering of the New York Corned Beef Society of Atlanta at Twains. We are so there.

    *And by "everybody" I don't really mean everybody, I just mean people who like chili, beer, art, music, and public green spaces.

    Thursday, November 03, 2005

    In An Ancient Tradition 

    Madonna claims it's dabblers like Paris who are damaging Kabbalah's credibility and not, uh, other highly-visible not-otherwise-Judaism-practicing celebrities or something.

    Perhaps Scooter Libby can spend the next few years writing a sequel to his 1996 literary masterpiece, the tale of a Japanese inkeeper and young girls being raped by bears, shagged by their uncles, and hot man on deer action.

    Hair bands make a comeback.

    Katie pulls her own strings for once.

    The US leads in medical errors.

    Kate Bush speaks.

    Apparently Leo digs Sienna's new do too. And femalefirst digs waaaay into their photo archives.

    Apparently Robert Downey Jr. fails to grasp the concept behind camping.
    And of course Kate Moss and Pete Doherty have to have a secret sex tape. (via Popbitch)

    Federscuzz still wants to be a rapper.

    Someone opened a new place on Rivington and forgets to bring the Asian.

    Someone at Pitchfork thinks AFX's Hangable Auto Bulb is pretty darn good.

    Tyra Banks pretends to be fat.

    The White Stripes do Coke.

    Guy sues Home Depot for being glued to the toilet. In other news, guy publicly admits being glued to the toilet.

    Wednesday, November 02, 2005

    Blatant Solicitation 

    So, due to a chronic state of quarter-life crisis, FAB and Gina are contemplating making mid-career moves (and by mid-career we mean, um, oh shut up) from grad student and, well, I'm not quite sure what Gina does to be honest but I know it has something to do with rolodexes, to artisinal cheese-farmers and -makers. Remember these guys? FAB would not object to replacing the present Mrs. Matteo Kehler. If anyone has any brilliant ideas, please do not hesitate to let us know asap. Pretty please.

    Oh Those Crazy Mormons 

    Toothy Tile on his gay cowboy movie: "I think the people who haven't seen the movie tend to go, 'It's the gay cowboy movie, but when they walk out of the movie, that isn't even an issue. It's much more about love than sex. To me, their sexuality is a way of consummating that intimacy between two people."
    Related: We've already shown you these pictures from the movie, but they probably bear a second look now.

    FAB never got this treat or trick.

    John Mayer desperately phone stalked Kanye West and even made up a little diddy about just how desperate he was.

    Denver votes to become a Mile High City.

    Ice-T on Omarosa: "What the fuck has that ho done?"

    Statesboro bans happy hour.

    Omarosa on Ice-T: "Real hip-hop artists - the ones that are true to the art form - do not resort to playa hating."

    Electric wheelchair confiscated for drunken wheeling.

    Parent appalled to discover child's web of lies on MySpace.

    Rufus Wainwright to play a not-so-secret secret show tomorrow night at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.

    L.Lo does Leto

    NY Pops founder Skitch Henderson to conduct the big orchestra in the sky.

    And despite his colorful backstory, it seems time to drop the two-bit caricatures and puff pieces and return to the brilliant, unearthly voice that earned Antony his accolades in the first place.

    50 Cent defends Bush against Kanye because "New Orleans was meant to happen. It was an act of God." Yeah, God, and a lot of really bad planning, poor resource allocation, turning the other ear, corruption, and global warming.

    A-Rod's high stakes gambling addiction.

    Ear Notes: NYC 

    Tonight is Moveable Hype 5.0 (the one year anniversary party) at the Knitting Factory Main Space. That means a kick ass party with beats by the Cloud Room, the Capitol Years, Snowden, and Bravo Silva all courtesy of Gothamist.
    Hosted by: Aziz Ansari and Rob Huebel
    DJs: Husky Gentleman (Spin) and Brother Lawrence
    Show starts at 8pm sharp!
    $3 Bud Selects all night - and some will be free if you get there early enough for the Gothamist Happy Hour.
    Buy tickets here or at the door.

    The Go! Team will be at Webster Hall.

    Rufus Wainwright will be at the Beacon.

    Kanye West
    , Fantasia, Common, and Keyshia Cole will be at MSG.

    Philip Glass
    will be doing those weird but ingenious things he does at BAM's Gilman Opera House.

    Hanson will be MMMBopping it away at the Nokia Theatre Times Square.

    Tuesday, November 01, 2005

    Come and Get It 

    FAB still wants Per Se. Nobu, Wylie Dufresne, Steve Hanson, Gramercy Tavern get dissed. Ouch. (via Gawker)

    First Seals Club 

    As he nears his 70th birthday, Woody Allen says his relationship with Soon-Yi has "more paternal feeling to it." FAB prefers to think of it that way too.

    The armadillos, they are a-comin'.

    Hindus not that happy about new Christmas stamp of Hindus worshipping the Jesus.

    Liz Hurley painfully insecure about her figure. No word about her pizza face.

    U CAN touch this.

    We Are Wolves win the day at Pitchfork.

    Even Stella McCartney wants you to stop clubbing baby seals. FAB wants Chloe.

    Ever wonder what happens to stolen art? Just ask the Getty Museum.

    Leo and Gisele call it quits once again. Melania may be with mini-Trump.

    And we thought it would never come to this.

    James F!@#$%^ Friedman's Go Commando! mixes Annie, Bloc Party, and other party friendly beats.

    Ron Isley faces up to 26 years in the pen.

    Aquarium tickets go on sale today.

    Ear Notes: ATL 

    The Swear make an in-store appearance at Criminal Records tonight at 7pm to play a couple tracks off their debut album “Every Trick’s A Good One.” Spencer's buying pizza and ice cream for everyone!

    Tonight FAB recommends heading down to the Earl to hear the Clientele with support from Annie Hayden and locals the Licentious Five. Read the KissAtlanta interview with the Clientele.

    The Shout Out Louds will be at the Loft with the Essex Green.

    FAB also recommends hearing the Judies at the 10 High with Fox Trotsky, the Carry Ons, and Mieka Pauley.

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